Sammy Sosa is a white guy now

Birmingham, AL. Saturday night. First stop in Birmingham. Nice part of Birmingham, big commercial area, all the big box and chain stores. Plenty of parking. Walk in. Girl at the desk. ID check. Cover was I think $10. Walk in. Two guys doing the pat down, one black guy, one white guy. Layout. Bar centerfield, stage right field, seating all around and in between. Third base VIP and lap dance area at shortstop. VIP I was quoted at I think $175 for 15 minutes, they told me that was a current deal, it's usually like $220 normally. And lap dances I think were $30 and that set up is super shitty. I saw a guy getting lap dances all out in the open, surrounded by mirrors on a VFW folding chair while the bouncers look down over him. HARD PASS. Customers looked like a mix of white and black guys. One black guy started filming himself for instagram near the stage and got his ass chewed out by the lady bartender.

Dancers. I wasn't too thrilled with the lineup. Looked like 20's-40's. Mostly 5-7 range. Maybe an exception in there. 50/50 black and white. Various body types, anorexic to fat. About 15 dancers I would say. One chick was very popular was a veteran blonde dancer with bolt on's.

I did catch one chick on stage who I thought was the best looking. Her name was Cleo I think. White girl, blonde hair, natural bustiness wearing pasties. Great southern accent. If I was to get dances with anyone it would be this girl right here. But I had witnessed the regular lap dance and I just couldn't waste money on that. I thought about VIP where she said you can actually touch, but she made it seem like that was BIG deal. I just saved my money and hoped for better. Maybe if I could do the night over I would just took this girl for a VIP whirl and see what happened. Either way I did not realize how restrictive Birmingham can be. I headed out to check out the Furnace.