On a recent Wednesday in the month of June in the year of our lord 2023, Rich Oates took a journey north to venture to an establishment he had not visited for some time. Upon entrance to this ho abode, Rich paid his entrance fee of $15 for which a drink was included of which cannot legally be of the alcohol variety. Rich immediately noticed that the room seemed slightly darker than he remembered. There were very few patrons and despite that, some of the merchants of which were present (also few), did not seem interested in making greetings or attempting to sell any of their wares. The merchants Rich met that day inlcuded Anya, Ciera, Ava, Monse, Luna and one other whose name was not recorded.
The latter merchant walked with a limp onto the advertising platform and almost fell over on her approach. It became clear she was not inebriated but had suffered from sort of recent injury preventing any sort of potential in advertising. She approached Rich with an invitation to see her wares. Rich politely declined as the type of business he had in mind to transact would likely lengthen the healing process of the merchant's injury.
Rich was approached by a couple other patrons however they did not meet the criteria of the the type of merchandise Rich was looking for. But then a familiar friend took the stage. Rich had previously experienced working with this pleasant mistress who is both mature, and nubile at the same time. After watching her advertisements, Rich decided to barter with the fair maiden. Upon meeting with her, Rich was lauded for his handsomeness. "Well that must be true" thought Rich to himself. Strange he should never hear that outside of this establishment. He decided that they must be some of the most honest, salt-of-the-earth folk around.
Rich carefully expressed the type of trading he was looking for and questioned whether his requests were feasible to which consent was assured and a deal of $300 was struck. Rich paid the pseudo-tavern room rental fee and they were off. But there was a delay, she exclaimed that she needed her sweater. Was she cold? Upon entrance through the beaded curtains of rented room, she must have changed her mind again and hung the sweater on the coat hanger with the lens on it.
From there, a great business partnership bloomed. She mentioned that Rich's wares were the largest she'd ever seen and it was at that moment that Rich realized that his two ex-wives were damn liars. She bounced along pleasantly to the tune of whatever shite the minstrel was playing until the transaction was delightfully completed.
This concludes my review, although I know there will be detractors such as Puddlelicker2, will claim the story is 'incoherant' because he was sadly unable to progress past a third grade reading level. Still others, like Turdradon will balk at my bawdy euphemisms. And still others who would reject the review because of paragraph spacing. I say to you, chill guys. There will be times you will be graced with a gold-standard review from drewcareyPNW. Other times, you will receive just a few facts that are just as important to the mongers who actually frequent those establishments. What I'm trying to say is, stop expecting Shakespeare from whore-house reviewers. No one cares about paragraph breaks. Approve and move on.
