Boom Boom has lost its Zoom

I went into my long time favorite cheap dive bar in the Rio Grande Valley mostly because a girl I had met there previously had been texting me asking when I would be back to see her. Her name was Naomi and we had a great time a few months before. Naomi told me that she had a surprise for me. I was in town traveling back from three days in Monterrey and told her I would stop by.

I arrived at 9pm and was the only customer. Aside from Naomi there were two other big homely girls I had no interest in. I paid the cover, which has gone up to $25, and sat down with my cooler of Bud Light. For some reason, probably unrelated to any recent marketing campaign featuring transvestites, a case of twenty 16 ounce bottles of Bud lite is only $18, so I’m taking advantage or their huge drop in market share.

Well, Naomi’s big surprise was her breast implants. Apparently she paid $7000 to ruin her body. The soft feminine b cups I remember from the last time now have the shape and consistency of two grapefruits standing at right angles to her chest. Against my better judgement she made me handle them. I was completely turned off, and told her honestly that I preferred them when they were small and natural. She reacted like I was crazy.