Left frustrated and will never, ever return… ever!

After two DC strip clubs in as many nights, I’m starting to detect a pattern. No touching unless “upstairs” and at premium prices and no seating at the stage. Frankly it is not a compelling formula.

I arrived at Mpire around 9:00 pm on a Sunday before the MLK holiday; a night that should have resembled a busy Friday or Saturday according to the dancers. The bouncer at street level scanned my driver’s license (odd), before allowing me to go up to the club on the second floor. After passing through a beaded curtain, I was in the smallest strip club I’ve ever visited (maybe 2500 square feet). At the entrance you can grasp the entirety of the place in one quick scan. There is a bar with 6-7 stools on the right and seating with tables for 20 or so on the left. There are two tiny stages at each end of the bar, one near the entrance and one at the opposite end of the space. There is also an upstairs area that is visible from below.

I was directed where to sit by a member of the goon squad (there were at least four bouncers working). The good thing about the space being so small is that you can see at least one of the stages well from the seating areas. I ordered a drink and watched the girls at the nearby stage.