I stopped by Mario's Showplace in Webster, Massachusetts on a recent Friday night. Beside what's noted in the title, here's what else I found...
The Ladies:
Marios only had about a dozen ladies working this Friday evening. But despite that there was a fairly wide selection of body types, from spinners to chunky and everything in between. All the ladies looked like they were in their 20s. All except one had prominent tattoos. A couple had prominent weird-ass piercings too. Aside from a black chick and a Latina who both had gigantic butt implants, the rest of the ladies looked all natural. About 70% were white with only 2 AA's (both dark chocolate) 2 looking like Latinas (one was a Porto, the other maybe Brazilian?) and no Orientals. I like young GND types without tattoos or bizarre piercings. So on my stripper scale most ladies here rated between a 3 and 5, in other words most were not my type. But there was one beautiful young naturally curvy brunette that I'd rate a solid 8+ and another 2 ladies that were kinda cute... after I had a few drinks! If you're not a dancer or one of those political correct schmucks and want a more descriptive rundown of the ladies, hit the virtual "men's locker room" below.
Stage Shows:
The main stage is large with plenty of seats and takes up almost half the club. It's like a rectangle with one side missing, has seating on all sides and is fairly narrow. It seems because it's narrow most ladies don't do a lot of acrobatics or pole tricks on the main stage. Instead they make their way around shaking ass, giving Stevie's and sometimes the legs on your shoulder with the V in your face thing (albeit with the g-string on during my visit). However ladies did pole tricks on the very small satellite stage in the rear of the club, which is basically just a table surrounded by chairs and a pole that went up almost to the ceiling. On both the main and satellite stages you sit low with the ladies above you providing some very nice views! Unfortunately only one lady got all nude on my visit and despite being a conniseur of cunts (note my handle folks!) I wish she didn't cause she had one nasty ugly twat :P All the other ladies only got topless on stage. There was only one lady on the main stage at a time for about 15 minute intervals. Sporadically another girl would dance on the satellite stage for as long as custies were willing to tip. There weren't many people sitting at either stages. Most patrons either hung out at the bar or the lounge area in the back of the club.
Private Dances:
The hustle factor was extremely low here. Most ladies acted like they were there just to hang out with regulars or their fellow strippers. Despite tipping at the stage, I was only approached by one dancer the roughly 3 hours I was there and she wasn't my type.
Lap dances are $25 per song and are done in a room off the back of the club by the pool table. A quirk about this club is that Entertainer and custie must wait until a new song is about to begin before entering the LD room. Inside the LD room are individual open-ended high sided booths (like alcoves). Most booths face a half wall, but a few in the corners face each other. Ironically those are the best;) Neither the lap dance area nor the Champagne Rooms are patrolled. There's decent privacy as long as no one's walking by or in the booth across. In the past I've gotten a lot of good two way contact with plenty of fondling, some light kitty petting and great otp action. I only got one dance this time and I hastily called it quits after an issue relating to the title of this review. After that I headed for the door thus no Champagne Room trip on this visit. But I was quoted a price of $100 to the house and an additional $150 directly to the lady for a 15 minute CR. The CR is located off a very short hallway to the left and behind the bar. It's a medium size room with 4 cubicles, 2 of which have curtains that close. In the past I had some great times in the cubicles with the curtains that close!
Vibe:
This joint feels like a blue collar small town honky tonk. The parking lot was full of pickup trucks and contractors vans. Most of the clientele looks to be working class and mostly, around 75% white. Despite this cracker customer base the DJ only played jungle music, no Rock. I guess that's what the whores who dance here like. On this Friday evening there was a decent size crowd comprising an eclectic mix of 30 to 40 year old contractors enjoying tits, ass, beer and hoping to get a hummer, a large jack-n-jill group of early 20 something townies with nothing better to do, a handful of dirty wetbacks there for some cervacas and a free show, a couple n!gg@s trying to sell the ladies some blow, and... me and another creepy old PL looking for a trick our granddaughter's age.
Location & Parking:
Mario's is located right on a main road in a mixed commercial zone in a rural/suburban area. The area feels safe. There's only been a few shootings and stabbings here over the years, not too bad. The I-395 ramps are a quick easy minute/quarter mile drive directly down the road. There's no valet, but plenty of self parking. It looks like they reconfigured the parking lot recently making it easier to maneuver around the aisles and in/out of the spaces. This is a welcome move for someone like myself who usually leaves drunk as skunk and has trouble finding my car never mind trying to back out of a tight space. Another welcome sign of the times is that I haven't spotted any fuzz hanging around in the adjacent businesses parking lots watching or following cars leaving this club like pre pandemic. Nor have I seen any DUI checkpoints around. Gotta thank BLM for all that!
Admission:
For starters they got a very big sign on the door saying you got to be at least 21 to enter and must have an ID to enter, no exceptions. This joint also closes promptly at 1 am even on weekends and things start winding down with the lights coming on even before that at 12:45. As you enter directly into to the club, the stage and bar is right there in front of you with a metal detector half-assly set up to the left. At night a doorman intercepts you and you have to enter your pockets, go through the metal detector and present an ID even if you're an old dude like me. Unfortunately they're also aggressively scanning ID's now using some kind of App on a phone. I even got hit with the $10 admission charge on Friday night even though I presented a military ID (albeit a "borrowed" one;)
Drink prices & food:
Pretty much standard strip club fare here, $6 domestic bottled beer, $7 imports, around $12 for lady drinks. Food is available for a reasonable $10 to $15 and this joint in the past had a full menu in more ways than one;)
Layout:
This joint is just a big ass room divided into two areas. The stage and bar in the front area. Behind that in the rear area are a very small stage (table with a pole), sofas with tables and chairs, and a pool table. The restrooms are clearly labeled and visible, Men in the front section by bar, Ladies in the rear right corner by the pool table. There's also a separate room near the Ladies room that's used only for special events like bachelor parties and the extremely rare shower show, which I last saw about 10 years ago. If you're a smoker, just let the doorman know and you can go outside on the front porch to smoke and when done are allowed to reenter again without any metal detector bullshit (kinda defeats the purpose of the metal detector!)
Chinese virus precautions:
None. No one wearing a mask here. Don't wear one, you'll look like a fucking weirdo!
Social Media:
The club has an outdated website but there IG account is good and is always active with some pictures of current dancers along with schedules.
Bottom line:
I wouldn't go out of my way to visit Mario's. The talent was mostly mediocre and the "dances" didn't seem to be "extra" special anymore. But if you're in the area it's better then nothing and it's also a convenient stop when traveling from New York to the Boston area and points north. As for myself, after this visit it'll be a while before I return as there are better options in the area.
********WARNING*********
IF YOU'RE A DANCER OR AN UPTIGHT ASSHOLE SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF GRIEF AND STOP READING HERE!
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Men's Locker Room section:
Back in the day Mario's was one of my favorite strip club because it was home to three of the sexiest and wildest women I've ever encountered: "Crazy Daisy" who gave a great uncovered "Nuru massage"; Waitress Paige who turned into dancer "April" who pulled it off saying he was allergic to latex; and above all my favorite cowgirl, the infamous "Bareback Jenny", whose name says it all! But alas those days are long long gone and the present line up of ladies is pretty much just ...boring!
That said there was one bird that I was very interested in. She was an early 20's genuine girl next door. A sexy curvy pothead! Someone who looked like she enjoyed an occasional Big Mac, not some vegan health nut that lives in the gym. No tattoos or weird piercings either, two big pluses for me! Her face looked kinda like a hotter sluttier version of Thora Birch back in her "American Beauty" days. And she had a set of big jugs just like those in the movie too! Those milky babies were at least a full C, if not a D, with just a bit of sag and nice big nipples. And she had some ba-dunk in the trunk too, a definite PAWG! Unfortunately your boy didn't actually get to see my favorite part of her body, but I did see the outline of a very nice meaty kitty through her g-string which made me interested in motorboating her crotch. She was on stage when I first arrived around 9 o'clock and was putting on a show with everything jiggling in all the right places. I was sold and ready to go! And so was she... home that is! Unfortunately when her stage set ended she disappeared into the locker room then reemerged a little later fully dressed and then headed right out the door. Strike one!
After that I started to drink, and the more I drank the better the other dames started to look. There was a mid to late 20's ginger whose face sort of looked like actress Ellen Pompeo and who had a very nice set of B-cup perky tits that roused my schlong after 3 beers. She had some big ugly tats covering both her legs but other than that nothing distracting above and had a nice toned body and apple bottom that enticed me to bite. Unfortunately when I finally got the finger out of my ass and decided to approach her for a dance, she too left early at around 10:30. Strike 2!
After a few more beers I spotted 2 chicks who reminded me of bitches that I had hard-ons for in my early teenage years. One was a doppelganger for a classmate I had a crush on way back in Hebrew school, picture Liv Tyler with a big schnoz. This dancer was in her mid/late 20s, had a huge tat on her upper back and a couple of other prominent tats on arms, legs, etc. I would've taken her for a dance just to live out an old adolescent fantasy. But she was tied up with a shady looking brutha for a long time, and then went and did a CR with another nasty looking brutha and I wasn't interested in sloppy seconds after that n!gg€r!
The other dancer was in her early 20s and kind of looked to me like McKenzie Philips, who was an teen actress (on "One Day at a Time") that I liked when I hit puberty back in the late '70s. I used to toss-off to her picture back in the day. This dancer had a prominent writing tattoo on her forearm and a couple of small tats here and there (legs, butt cheek, fingers), but nothing too distracting. The only thing was when she smiled, it looked like she went to the same dentist as Austin Powers. Not groovy baby!
After a few more drinks a buxom blonde with huge tats on her front shoulders just above her big knockers took the stage. I went and tipped her on the stage because I noticed she had a very prominent clitoral hood showing through her g-string. A big turn on for this monger as you may surmise from my handle! From afar with beer goggles on she looked like Christina Applegate but upclose she was a real butterface.
By the time I was shit faced, an ugly chunky beek-nosed girl with a flat donkey ass that was on stage started to look good as did a slim blonde who would've been a 9 if she wasn't covered with big ugly tats and weird ass piercings that made her look like a freak show. There was also a very enhanced Latina with dyed dirty blonde hair and an enhanced derriére that looked like she had beach balls attached to her ass who had big tats on both front upper legs.
Anyways, after wasting away the evening on my fat ass I finally said fuck it and decided just to grab someone for a dance to relieve my hard on. I was looking forward to seeing my entertainer's g-string coming off. But when it did, a smell emanating from her crotch hit me like Putin unleashing a tactical nuke. And her snatch didn't even get near my face! That dance couldn't end soon enough for me!!! Strike 3, I was outta there! So I said hasta la vista baby and promptly hit the road. When I got in my car, my pants smelled like Pepé Le Pew gave me a lap dance! So I drove across the street to the gas station and doused my crotch with some hi-test. But the smell was so rancid that I ended up having to make a second stop and use some $6 per gallon diesel instead. It was that bad!
The whole experience put the kibosh on my visit. So it'll be a while before I return to Mario's.
