A Diamond in the Dive

I stopped in for a first-time visit at Sugar’s near Hager City, Wisconsin, on a recent Sunday night. They opened at 4 pm and this was about 6. Since I live in the Minneapolis suburbs, the drive was about an hour. The tiny topless club was truly in the middle of nowhere. It appeared to be an older, poorly renovated, two-story former residence. I parked in their small lot and wondered if it was worth checking out. I decided, what the hell. There wasn’t a cover charge and the door opened directly into a fluorescent lit bar room. The door is set at the corner of the three-sided bar, so everyone sitting at the bar, which included dancers and customers, turned to stare at me. All talk ceased. I kind of froze. What a weird moment! Finally, I made some lame joke about feeling like I was late for a meeting. Nobody laughed. The older lady bartender asked what I was drinking. There were no menu cards and no signs or displays. I asked what she had on tap. “Nothing,” she said, “we got cans. Whaddya want?”

My mind drew a blank. I normally drink Stella but had no faith this place stocked it. I pointed at the guy in a camouflage windbreaker next to me and said I’d have what he had. I think it was a Miller and it cost $4.00. The barkeeper popped it open and slid the can to me. This was definitely a dive bar of dive bars.

I got a brief tour by a mature white dancer with screaming red lipstick. I learned the club consisted of two rooms: the bar and the dance stage area. The lighting around the stage was better than the bar¬¬—which wasn’t saying much. The tip rail was painted plywood and extended all the way around the wooden rectangular stage. The chairs were kitchen style with aluminum legs and plastic padding. There was no activity on stage yet and my guide said that the girls pretty much danced when they felt like it once there were more customers. The private dance area was in the opposite corner from the stage. Nothing private about it. It had black, mismatched padded seating side-by-side of the kind you find in older restaurant booths.