Avoid Excape

Been to this place 1-/12 times before, just before the Covid shutdown in 2020, and just never liked the vibe. The first time (the “1/2” time) I went through the front door, saw the sparse, unattractive talent, and turned on my heel and left. Second visit, I resolved to give the place a fairer trial, so I made it to the bar and lasted long enough to chug down a Heineken before leaving.

This time, I had finished my business in Balto on a Monday afternoon, and decided admiring some exposed female flesh would fortify me for the ride home up I-95. Although it was well after 4 pm, the three places I tried first (Penthouse Club, Hustler, and Gentlemen’s Gold Club) were all locked up tight. This is contrary to the TUSCL club listings, and contrary to the recorded information on LFHC’s phone line. Google says Penthouse is "permanently closed". IDK.

So, the stop at Exscape was basically a desperation move. It’s on busy US 40 on the northeast outskirts of metro Baltimore, a relatively easy jaunton or off of I-95. It is tucked behind a nondescript old motel, so you need to keep an eye out for the “female review” sign. Plenty of parking. It’s housed in a large metal building which looks like it was a former machinery shed or small factory. Lots of beer posters outside make it look like it could be a windowless liquor store.

Double doors open into the main bar/stage area, which seemed cavernous, particularly given, as with previous visits, the sparse number of human occupants. Four dancers, three patrons and a female bartender. (This is not one of those places where the bartender is more attractive than the dancers, which isn't intended as praise for the dancers). There’s a long, basically rectangular stage, surrounded by the bar.

Dancer on stage was young, reasonably attractive, with a slender body and decent boobs. Enough to get me to sit down and order a vodka tonic ($8, served in a plastic cup). Dancer finished a song, stepped down from the stage, and made her rounds from inside the bar collecting dollars between those nice, pastied (Baltimore County thing, I guess) breasts. Thinking this might be as good as it gets, I doled out a few extra dollars to get her attention. (Hadn’t got a good look at the other dancers, who were congregated around another patron). She thanked me and, to my surprise, stepped back on the stage. (I have since read other reviews which confirm that the practice here is to collect dollars after each song).