Afternoon on a Sunday. Pandoras Never Disappoints.

So it’s been awhile since I’ve swung by the old watering hole, and it was time for another visit. I want to Pandoras in the afternoon on Sunday around opening (that would be at 1). Good opening. A bunch of strippers were already there and a couple of other mongers. Started the LDA fun off with Paisley and ended with Monse. Spent 200.

I swung by Kittens first. I was in the area nearby Kittens so I went in at noon. Club had been open two hours already but it was dead. One stripper getting fondled by a perv in a dark corner. No stage dances. No other strippers in sight. Nerdy AA bar girl collected my cover and got my drink, but she’d lost the glasses this time and had a crop top and booty shorts thing going, perky ass looking like a little snack. Who knew that losing the glasses and putting on a slut outfit would send this girl from the 5 out of 10 leagues to the 9 out of 10 leagues. Chubby blondie was working the bar too, same as last time, as while as wannabe jock DJ guy, who’s playing hip hop covers. Whatever. I thought that chubby blondie was doing blow when I first went in because her head kept going down to the bar counter, but then I realized she was just stuffing her face with food. Fat girls gotta eat.

Stripper and perv go VIP for a workout. She looks like a college freshman incoming. He looks like he remembers the Spanish American War. I’d say don’t get a heart attack in VIP but then I realized I don’t give a fuck. Now it’s down to zero strippers. It’s 12:30 and this place has been open for two and a half hours. Time to get the fuck out of here. Pandoras is going to open soon so I take off and make the pilgrimage up the I-5.

I get to Pandoras at opening and head in. Manager bitch lady (she’s actually chill but those are the optics) collects my cover. This woman used to be the manager at Club Sinrock. How you go from being the manager of the most shit strip club in town to the gold standard I don’t know. At least she hasn’t brought the institutional culture of lol-cow Sinrock to Pandoras. Glancing around as I take my seat, I see five strippers and a couple of other pervs. Just the remedy to grave yard Kittens. This place is alive and we’re only ten minutes into opening.

Paisley starts the stage dancing. Cue the song. Bra drop. Panty drop. We make eye contact. A naked woman twerking for my pleasure. Just what I fucking needed on this rainy ass day. She’s throwing the ass back and doing some spreading. Song ends and Jade hits the stage. Paisleyheads my way and sells me on the LDA as I watch Jade show the goods. I was planning for Paisley to be the main course but right then I saw Monse come out of the stripper room. Time for a plan change-up. Paisley would be the appetizer.