Pandoras-Still Seattle’s Gold Standard

Was bored on a Saturday morning and knew a certain Mexican milf would be working that day, so decided to make a pilgrimage to the old stand-by. Memorial Day weekend. The more of a strip club veteran I’ve become, the less clubs I go to, and gradually I’ve narrowed down the strippers I’ll see to a few regs. In my beginner says of perv mongering, I fell for the trap of going for the young fake tits b-listers. As I grew in experience and wisdom, under the tutelage of a couple of sages, I gravitated toward older veteran strippers who see stripping as a service and understand customer satisfaction, not just as a way to bilk simps for money. They may be older, and not have the slut simp for me daddy aspiring porn star looks, but you’ll end up with mileage that the typical stripper just won’t do.

I pull up around 11:30. Parking lot is pretty much empty. Heading in I’m greeted by small tits blondie again (refer to my previous Pandoras review). The curvy AA who normally does this is nowhere in sight. What a shame. Pay the $10 cover and the $5 for the drink and settle down on the couch in front of the LDA. A skinny brunette on stage has the top goods out and is twerking a bit. Only one perv sitting at the table so it’s not exactly like she has an incentive to do a pantry drop or any moves. Blondie brings my soda that I don’t give a shit about and won’t drink (I have more self-respect than to ingest sugar water). Wave away her attempt to give me the five out of the twenty I put down when I came in. Would have tipped even more to see the top goods (why isn’t this babe stripping?). No sight of the Latin goddess.

It’s some fit white 20-something strippers turn on stage next. If anyone has any intel on her leave in the comments. Her hair is almost grayish and she has a 1980s short cropped hair Madonna look that could be described as ‘alternative.’ After her is another chick I need intel on. Pretty sure I’ve seen this girl working a bikini stand before. Pretty AA who goes by the name Mia. Full panty drop. As Mia is twerking skinny brunette heads over and tells me she’s a student stripping for that dinero. Oh god, not one of these again again. Tells me her sorrows about all the pervs who want mileage. The horror! Guys going to strip clubs to get what strip clubs are for? Maybe she could consider bagging groceries instead? I give the standard bullshit line when the LDA offer drops ( “Just got here. Need to settle in for a bit. Later for sure though”). Yeah, when hell has a twelve inch layer of ice. As she’s walking off Mia leaves the stage and a Mexican song starts. So Monse is here, but no sign of her. Half-way through the song she comes out of the LDA looking slightly…winded. Her patron makes an appearance about a minute later. He probably needed a little extra time to, uh, get himself together I guess (we’ve all been there). Now I’m actually enjoying myself.

Bra and panties come off. She’s working the pole hard. Now she’s spreading on the stage and we’re making eye contact. It’s that flash of trust and recognition between a veteran Pandoras stripper and a veteran Pandoras patron. Songs ends and she heads over. It’s time. We agree to 160 and head back to the LDA. I’m digging the accent as always. It’s noon now. Anyone who does VIP this early at Pandoras is a fool. The LDA is perfectly adequate at this time. Anyone who pays premium for VIP is just lighting their money on fire.

We settle back on a couch and the panties drop. Ten minutes pass and I’m sitting back winded. Well, we both are. I’ve never went to heaven and back, but it must feel close to this. I won’t go in gratuitous details. Seattle veterans know that Pandoras is the gold standard, and that Monse is the ultimate stripper. Maybe it’s just because I have a thing for Latin girls, but I challenge anyone to digress with that statement. The fact that I mentioned Pandoras and Monse together in a single paragraph speaks for itself.