sinclair's Review
I went to Planet Lockwood twice over the weekend. I went at 23:00 on Friday night and at 20:30 on Saturday night. The parking lot is rutted really bad, but it is not really an issue since everyone drives pick-up trucks. The facility is composed of two rooms. The first room has the bar, washrooms, and three video slot machines. Only one of the three video slots was functional. The ATM has a $500 maximum withdrawal and charges a $4 fee per transaction. The bar doesn’t carry Anheuser-Busch products, so I ended up having to get a Coors Light bottle for $5. Before I made my return visit on Saturday night, I got loaded on Sincweisers at the hotel bar and was comin' in hot. A cup of Coca-Cola with ice was complimentary.
The second room is the actual strip club and it is accessed through a curtained doorway on the right end of the first room. There is a $10 cover charge to enter the strip club part of the facility. You are given a wristband so that you can go back and forth between the bar area and the strip club room. The strip club area features an octagon stage with a spinning pole in the middle. There were fourteen chairs surrounding the stage. If you sit at the stage, you are required to tip at least $2 to each dancer, or you will get kicked out. That was dictated on a sign near the entrance. There is also no touching the dancers at the stage. I saw one drunk guy touch a dancer’s ass, only to have a bouncer run across the room and yell at him. Only a couple of the dancers interacted with customers at the stage, doing tricks like Stevies or doing headstands on guys’ laps.
There were eight dancers working on Friday night and eight dancers working on Saturday night. Six of the eight dancers were the same both weekend nights. Phoenix and Shay worked Friday only. Casey and Sunny worked Saturday only. Dancers would do three song sets on stage, getting topless on the second song and nude on the third song. Some strip clubs advertise full nudity, and then many of the dancers refuse to show anything more than their boobs. Planet Lockwood was the real deal with all of the dancers getting completely naked on stage.
–Sinclair Dancer Sheet–
Bambi: Black, long black weave, fit body, A cups, tattoo on abdomen, script tattoo on back of left calf, 7.
Casey: White, probably over six feet out of heels, brown hair in a boys haircut, B cups, nose ring, big tattoo below boobs, 6.
Cherry: White, black hair, brown eyes, athletic body, B cups, tattoos along both arms, black heart tattoo on underside of chin, wore a fake knife in her garter, wild chick, 8.5.
Ivy: White, black hair, brown eyes, curvy body, fake D cups with some scarring, 1969 tattoo across upper abdomen, popular, 8.
Kimchi: Asian, petite, A cups, no tattoos, newer dancer, does crazy stuff on stage like licking customers’ beer bottles and stuffing dollars in her pussy, 7.5.
Lotus: White, blonde hair, blue eyes, thin, saggy B cups, had kid, big tattoo on left hip/thigh, loves Mary Jane, 7.
Remedy: White, black hair with a blonde streak, brown eyes, large C cups, wears glasses, nosering, has the word ‘Peachy’ tattooed on her left ass cheek, 6.5.
Sunny: White, wavy blonde hair, average body, somewhere between A and B cups, not HWP, large tattoo of sunflowers and birds stretching all the way down her right side, large tattoo on left side of rib cage, 5.5.
There is a private dance room and a VIP room on the back side of the strip club area. A one song topless lap dance is $40. A one song nude lap dance is $50. Three songs nude is $100. A nude VIP room is $300 and lasts thirty minutes. The lap dance area offers no privacy with three couches facing each other. The VIP area is only private if there are no other couples back there at the same time. It contains a bunch of couches scattered around a room within view of each other. A bouncer also occasionally peeks in. Dancers can touch customers, but customers are not allowed to touch the dancers. The prices are too steep for one-way contact. I asked a dancer if I could at least put my hands on her hips, and I was told I could not. As a result, this was a rare club where I did not take one for the team. I just saw no value.
Planet Lockwood is the only strip club for many miles in any direction. With no competition, the club stays in business with strict rules. The closest strip club to the west is in Three Forks about a two and a half hour drive. The closest strip club to the east is in Rapid City about a five hour drive. The closest strip clubs to the south are in Rock Springs and Cheyenne, which are both about a six and quarter hour drive. Planet Lockwood is a decent strip club for drinking and enjoying a full nude stage show, but that is about it. If you want to grope and bang Montana cowgirls, go to Daisy Duke’s Saloon and Dance Hall in downtown Billings.
