Afternoon at Porthole

Had some time to kill one afternoon so decided to drop by the Porthole Pub. No cover before 7:00pm. Porthole is located a few blocks east of 95 on the west end of a busy strip mall. Parking, while free can be a little tricky as you may have to park towards the other end of the parking lot since this mall can be very busy during the day. If it’s a sunny day, you’ll need give your eyes a minute to adjust when you walk in. In front of you is a decent sized square bar that seats 25. Too the left is the stage with several small tables and chairs along either side and some bench seating behind those along the wall.

Beyond the stage towards the back of the club are the dance booths, each with a full curtain for privacy. There are several shared booths, however they each have a divider between the benches so you don’t really notice if someone else is on the other side. They also have private booths, but I’ve never partaken in those as you can pretty much do anything you want in the shared booths. Individual songs in the shared booths are $25 with $5 going to the house. You can also get $10 bar-side dances, but those aren’t that common and some girls don’t even bother to take off their tops. A popular option here are the 2 for 1 dances they offer in the booths at least once an hour. If you ask, most girls will be willing to wait, or at least come back to you if you ask to go back when the next 2 for 1 comes up.

The dancers do a 2 song set on stage with most going topless on the second song. Got my $3 beer and checked out who was working. If you’re hoping to find that 9.5 dancer of your dreams, DON’T come to Porthole. This is a predominantly AA club as well as home to girls who couldn’t get hired anywhere else. While you may find some cute ebony dancers, this club also frequently has the opposite end spectrum. This afternoon, there were two white girls working, one of whom was the fattest dancers I’d ever seen. She didn’t look horrendous from the front, but when she turned around, the cottage cheese cellulite on the back of her thighs made you say, damm?! Three was also an AA gal who looked like she could play tight end for the Dolphins. And some of the regulars are a trip as well including one guy who smokes the fattest cigars I’ve ever seen. FYI this place can get smokey in the evenings.