Dive bar

I just finished a stellar gig at the local arena in Portland, and my wife Jeannie had a headache from taking care of our 5 children while we're on tour. My father comes along to help, but I don't know how much help an elderly grandfather can be when he's drunk with a belly full of hot pockets. I was horny and life on the road is tough when everybody wants u to make them laugh, yet no one will return the favor and please me, so off to the club I go for some satisfaction!

I walk out my hotel and no more than two blocks away is Mary's. This place looks like a bunch of sailors owned it. I hope I don't get sick like they do at sea! I was hungry, so maybe pie will be on the menu? Hair pie that is....

There were a couple of cute girls on stage today. I wanted to dance with them, but they were too busy feeding the juke box between songs. It was eerie to hear guys conversing with each other when the songs were over, like such a boner buzz kill. Nothing destroys the atmosphere hearing Brutus telling everyone how hard his penis is after the girl on stage has bent over to pick up her dollars from stage tipping. Why there is no dj is amazing to me, but I just know how to play a comedy club crowd, not the strip club crowd.