It was the best of times;...

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. With apologies to Charles Dickens, this visit to Denver was a tale of two strip clubs, Maxim and Shotgun Willies. They couldn’t have been more different. Maxim is a neighborhood dive bar, exactly what you would picture for a low rent strip bar. It’s located in what appears to be low end commercial area. The neighborhood didn’t appear dangerous, but not very appealing, either. The bar in a poorly maintained block building in a poorly maintained parking lot. There was no one at the door. I walked about 5 paces into the bar and the doorman came running up from somewhere asking for me ID, which I showed to him. He put it in some a machine hanging on the wall, which I believe a previous review called a scanner. I don’t think it’s a scanner. He dropped my ID in a slot at the top and a magnified view showed up on a screen. I think its just a magnifier or something to help spot fake IDs, but I could be wrong. The doorman gives me back my ID. He didn’t ask for a cover, but instead asked if I want to sit at a booth or the bar. Of course, I say the bar as I am by myself and I always sit at the bar, to start out at least. Then, they guy leads me over to a barstool at the corner of the bar, and actually pulls the stool out, pats it and says “right here, amigo.” I’ve never had anyone actually seat me at a bar before. Even at the Outback Steakhouse, when you sit at the bar, you seat yourself, so this was first. Looking around, I saw that the inside was in keeping with the low rent character of the neighborhood. The place was small and dimly lit, with strings of red lights running around the interior. There was one small stage to the left of the bar and booths running around the exterior wall. There were about a dozen customers and 7-8 dancers. I think a previous review called this a blue collar bar. At least while I was there, it was more of a no collar, unskilled manual laborer type of bar. All of the customers appeared to be Hispanic, judging from appearances and the fact that everyone seemed to be speaking Spanish, or English with a Spanish accent, including the short fellow wearing shorts and a t-shirt who staggered up to the bar (twice) just to my left and shouted to a guy at the other end of the bar “I’m goeeng to fuckeeng keel you, you beeeetch.” He appeared to be a regular as the staff seemed to find this mildly amusing and did nothing other than to roll their eyes. I could see a VIP room just past the stage in the far corner of the room. It was open except for some sheer curtains that weren’t closed all the way, so I could see a guy slouched back in the usual position on a small couch getting a lap dance from a Latina that appeared to be about the same shape and weight as a large fireplug. All of the dancers were either black or Hispanic. There was one tall, Amazonian looking black girl with blonde hair that I might rate a 5 (if I was being generous), and the rest went down hill from there, except for a small Latina girl I saw sitting in a corner with a regular customer who was possibly cute, but I never got a very good look at her. Other than that, the best looking girl in the bar by far was the bartender, a tall Hispanic blonde. If you are in the mood for slumming in Denver, this is your place. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a dive bar. I actually tend to prefer the lower end establishments, as your money goes further and more fun can be had under the right circumstances. And this place didn’t seem dangerous, and actually had kind of a friendly vibe (as in the doorman seating me in the bar and calling me amigo), but I like to see at least a few girls in at least the 6-7 range, so I finished my beer and left. Next up, Shotgun Willies, which I’ll cover in another review I will post there. If Maxim is Yin, Shotgun Willies is Yang.