Shady Lady has a fairly run-down...

Shady Lady has a fairly run-down look to it; the music is very current, popular, and not very attractive from an upscale standpoint, but more importantly, when you get in you aren't made to feel particularly welcome. Many of the girls are too fat and and aren't toned enough to look at with desire (unless you're one of those who likes cellulite); I felt sorry for some of them, honestly, and got a very strong sense that a few of them did not want to be there; but one seemed to buck the trend by inviting herself - and she luckily was one of the best ones there, who very very much enjoyed having us get drinks for her and making sure the waitress was tipped. (I think she bucked the trend mostly due to the drinks, basically.) Cover was about what you would expect for the quality found at $5. Unfortunately, this also seems to be a place that attracts thugs, and lowers the scent of the atmosphere to that of a backstreet alleyway. Don't get me me wrong, but I think that if Shady Lady wants to be something special in Kansas City (something I doubt to be the case), then it should appeal to people who know how to talk and put their pants on. Drinks tend to always be around $8 or so, which is all right, but none seem to have any flavor to make them more appealing; however, they don't hold back on the alcohol content - they want to make sure you're drunk and too long gone to have much recollection of your time there. And on that note, the fact that the girls drink seems to make me think that they don't want to remember either.

It seems to take more than 5 minutes to pass before before you're recognized and the waitress acknowledges that you want to forget about dragging your ignorance into some hole in the street. The girl who bucked the trend (I prefer to be approached, of course) just directly asked me if I wanted a dance - I think she felt out of her depth intellectually or didn't have the attention to mind that as a concern. She liked the idea of a private dance (30min for $250), but I hadn't thought of digging that deep into my pockets, as she tapped on the front of my pants. Choosing the $30 dance, I was very impressed with her tight, tall, slender body. Even now I have a vivid memory of her fine figure. I think that I would go back one more time for her - all things considered. She seemed to do a good job of getting into it and enjoyed herself (yes, not me, which is all right). Afterwards, she asked if I wanted another, but I declined out of restraint - the alcohol hadn't done its job yet.

In sum, go there drunk first, as the glow from the alcohol might make it harder to notice all of the horrid details. I don't think the girls are especially clean either. Go only if you're a broke loser with no life.