I went to The Dukes of...

I went to The Dukes of Beaver County on a Saturday night around 9pm. The club is located just across the state line from Liberal, Kansas—maybe a quarter of a mile. There is no other strip club in this part of the country for two hundred miles in any direction. The Dukes is not great compared to other clubs around the country, but if you are stuck in the Dust Bowl, this is all you’ve got to work with. The cover was $7. Security was performed by a local biker club. A bottle of beer was just $2 and a soda was just $1.50. The waitresses would jump on you to get your first drink, but were not pushy at all after that. It was nice to not be constantly harassed to keep buying drinks, which is a rarity nowadays in strip clubs. As you walk in the full bar is to the right. The main stage is straight ahead. To the left is an elevated seating area and beyond it is a walk-in closet which is the lap dance area. The lap dance area is kind of dark and has a few couches inside. Lap dances cost $20 and are full-length songs. The area is communal, so you will only have privacy if no other patrons are getting dances. A dancer spends two songs on stage. A single would get you plenty of attention at the stage. Most of the patrons that go here work at one the local feedlots or meatpackings plants and are not wealthy. Music is hard rock and hip hop. You can go up to the DJ with your requests, and he’ll play them.

There were only seven ladies working on a Saturday evening. I learned that many other dances were fired recently due to not showing up when scheduled. It was a mix of white, black, and Latina. I’d say all but one of the girls was unattractive due to them being a little older or a little chubbier than I find desirable. The only dancer I was attracted to was Mercedes. She was maybe an 8, but smoked heavily. Keep in mind this is the middle of nowhere, and the club seems to have some trouble finding women to work out there. I got a few lap dances for TUSCL research purposes. Mileage was high in my experience. I enjoyed DFK, titty-sucking, spanking, and the dancer even put her box to my mouth and wanted me to perform cunninglus, which I did not perform due to a slight albacore aroma. A bouncer peeks into the lap dance every so often to make sure illegal activities are not going on.

Be careful when leaving the club, as the cops in Oklahoma and Kansas stake out this area hoping to issue DUI’s and speeding tickets. I saw two cars get pulled over a short distance from the club. And yes, the county this club is actually located in is really named Beaver. The sign for the club shows a woman and a car with a Confederate flag on it. Perhaps the owner is a big fan of The Dukes of Hazzard. The club is worth a stop if you are in the area, but don’t come in with Dallas or Houston expectations or you will be disappointed.