review comment
3 months ago
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SCPI’ll be in the darkest LDA corner…
Did you even read the review Techman? Names provided, I didn’t do VIP, and entry and drinks are irrelevant in Seattle.
- Pandoras review night 1 of 5
'They work hard.' Are you for real bro. Twerking on a guys lap is 'hard work' now. They're probably doing the same shit for free in the night club after a little booze. Again, none of this is fucking real. The 'prices' are completely arbitrary. You might be out of one- hundred or less with one stripper and be out of five-hundred with another stripper doing the same thing. And the idea that they can't or won't get naked is laughable. Again, that 'rule' is completely arbitrary and varies from stripper to stripper.
- Pandoras review night 1 of 5
‘As it seems they are not allowed to take them off completely.’ Poor novice. If he only knew. Dude got completely shaken down. She gave you a rundown of what prices? He acts like it’s a legitimate service. That they get naked in the LDA is the bare minimum. If they don’t move into the next one.
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SCPI’ll be in the darkest LDA corner…
Hey @guyintheroom, go fuck yourself. If my review is ‘high school diary,’ then yours (I say that in the singular because this jackoff literally has only one review to his name), is the two-paragraph paper the teacher has to (barely) pass because it met the bare minimum requirement. I’ve never even heard of you before and all of a sudden you’re talking shit about me for no reason? Maybe you should try criticizing people who have done this awhile a little less and try improving the quality and quantity of your reviews.
- Expensive upsells
This fucking guy @guyintheroom (nice original name buddy) calls my Pandy’s review ‘shit,’ and then proceeds to write the most dry, copy-and-paste review within the past month. There is literally nothing of value in this review. All the names, all the prices, all the dynamics between the talent and this fucking loser have been said literally a thousand times about this club. Your writing doesn’t come within a mile of my writing you fucking hack. I wouldn’t even care normally but you were the one who started this.
- Still one of the best in the area
‘One thing I hated is that the dancer had to go back to stage during my three-song.’ No that was just you. I guess when it’s you the strippers will think up any excuse. Who could blame them?
- Poor timing on my part
‘Pandora's Adult Cabaret is a strip club in North Seattle.’ Could you be more boring. Anyone who is reading this knows the Seattle scene. It’s called Lake City.
review comment
2 years ago
“If you literally happen to be right there and can’t get anywhere else it’s not that bad actually.” Bruh. Ringing endorsement. That strippers don’t usually get naked in town isn’t even really true. Depends on the club, the chick, and the time. You just have to work it.
review comment
2 years ago
Fuck these adjudicators. We’re all pervs who want want details about tits and ass. Who the fuck gives a shit about the rest.
review comment
2 years ago
Ok, which one of you wrote this. The trolling is 💯
review comment
2 years ago
This scam isn’t surprising at all. In fact, it’s the Kittens m.o. A classic trick is ‘forgetting’ how many dances took place. Another m.o. is the stripper literally refusing to stop once she’s on your lap, and then demanding payment for dances you refused. Then again, if you enter a den of thieves, you should prepare to get robbed,, which in the experience of some men at Kittens (not me fortunately) is literal.
review comment
2 years ago
Milf manager used to manage Sinrock. That’s how I first met her. Never got the story of how she went from managing the worst SC in town to arguably the best. Seeing her up on stage is something I’d like to see very much. I’v always thought Pandoras should do a Casa Diablo and have the bar girls go topless.
review comment
2 years ago
Mr. Papi from *looks closer* Florida. I’m sure you’re completely versed in the Seattle scene and what is and isn’t appropriate for a review for, I’ll repeat, Seattle readers.
review comment
2 years ago
“She looks like a Latin potato…fake tits…fake butt…down to get down.” My fucking sides. Leroy has always been a superb writing talent, especially when it comes to description. A certain subset of people on here will always try to create drama by dishing on quality reviews.
review comment
2 years ago
The Sugars ‘perv walk’ is a thing of legend at this point, but I would hazard that only a marginal, if any, amount of drivers pay attention to who is coming and going. Sugars has never been my favorite simply based on the club itself. I frequent Sugars more often than I usually would simply because Chickalatte Aurora is just up the road, which is one of the better bikini skimp shacks in town.
review comment
2 years ago
Seems like you lucked out talent wise. Ariel, aka ‘Spicy,’ is the epitome of generic. She’s mostly a Kittens fixture, and Pandoras before that, but strips at Sugars also for some reason. Whenever I run into her at Sugars I usually avoid her. I always go for Minnie’s fat ass. If I’m going to go to a downscale strip club I better be getting more ratchet strippers than I could get elsewhere.
review comment
2 years ago
I laughed through this entire review. Can attest to the accuracy of the details because I totally have never been with the lovely lady covered in tats who no one here obviously knows about. UncleWill, the absolute fucking legend….almost as legendary as me. Almost.
review comment
2 years ago
Kittens is actually good when you get down the formula: find reliable strippers, and going during the morning.
review comment
2 years ago
Ultimately, there is no point in chasing discount IG models. Save your attention for the strippers who’ll actually give you satisfaction.
review comment
2 years ago
Julia and unnamed big girl pulling the Naima / Winter routine.
review comment
2 years ago
“I felt my jeans get tighter with each step to the car.” What the actual fuck. I had to read this sentence three times to make sure I’d actually read it properly, and still have no fucking clue what it means, and neither does the writer probably. “She could most likely feel my eyes burning into her B cup titties.” Is it SP fan fiction day? The latest Seattle SP reviews are just the gift that keeps on giving. I’m blown away by the quality of writing, and not in a good way.
review comment
2 years ago
Holy shit, am I morphing into DesertScrub? I used to roll my eyes at the idea that reviews on this site were often fake. After reading the recently published reviews on Seattle SPs, this one and the one on Kittens, both of which are obviously fake, or at least are extremely, uh, ‘imaginative’ in regards to what actually happened, I’m beginning to see that the old Scrub might have been on to something all along. Or maybe it’s just that this idiot is completely shit at writing? Who even fucking cares I guess. Garbage review.
review comment
2 years ago
Boring details aren’t obligatory. Everyone reading this review knows what the mudane atmospheric conditions of the club are. This whole reviews reeks of bullshit. My suspension of disbelief was, well, suspended, over the line about the stripper taking off his belt. Yeah, she totally didn’t fucking do that. I’m going to pull a DesertScrub and call bullshit on this bullshit if a review.
review comment
2 years ago
Did you miss the part where I said City of Roses? Are you so ignorant of PNW geography that I have to spell it out for you?
review comment
2 years ago
A tip for what? A lapdance is a fake service anyway. Some girl twerks on your lap for a couple of minutes. Stripping isn’t part of the real economy. It’s literally just women taking their clothes off to simulate that primal part of a man’s brain. No actual work. Devils Triangle is the pinnacle of out-of-towner bait. Woefully priced with barely any actual payoff. If you just want a little decent eye candy just go down the I-5 to the city of roses. There’s basically a strip club on every fucking corner offering real booze and women who’ll get naked on the cheap.