Comments by BackwoodsBum

Hope you guys don't mind me butting in here since I don't think I've ever posted in these discussions before, but this topic caught my eye so I thought I'd let you guys know about an experience I've had. I visit the better clubs in my area fairly regularly and have gotten to know several of the girls well. I had been spending quite a bit of time (and money) with one girl at my favorite club off and on for a couple of months last fall when out of the blue one night she gave me her phone number and asked me to call her. She knew I visited other clubs and was friends with other dancers so I thought she was just trying to get me to spend all my time and money with her and quit going to the other clubs. When she gave me her phone number she made me promise not to let anyone know that she had done that because she said it was against club rules and that she could get fired. I've had other girls give me their numbers too and was never interested in pursuing things so even though I kept her number I didn't call her. I didn't go back to that club for a couple of weeks and when I did she came and sat with me as soon as she saw me. We started talking and she said she was worried that she had scared me off by giving me her number and was glad to see me. I told her that I still had her number, but that I had been busy and hadn't had a chance to call her. She said that was OK and that she was hoping I'd find time to call her soon. She asked if she could have my number so I gave her my cell number. That weekend she called me and we talked on the phone for over an hour. The only time she mentioned work was saying that it was nice to be able to talk to me without having to yell over the music. We had a really nice conversation talking mainly about her plans to visit her family in a couple of weeks. She hadn't been home in a while and was really looking forward to the visit. I didn't go to the club the next week, but that weekend I had some free time so I called her and asked if she would like to go out to dinner. We went out and had a great time. When I dropped her off she invited me in and I declined. She said that was what she liked most about me, that I was a gentleman and didn't treat her like a whore like most of the guys at the clubs do. I kissed her goodnight and left. The following week she called me on Tuesday night and said she was going in to work late that night and asked if I'd like to meet her after I got off work and have dinner on her way in. She said this time it was her treat. I said ok and we met at a place not far from the club she works at and had a nice dinner. After dinner she asked me what my plans for the evening were. The cynic in me figured that she was wanting me to go to the club and spend the rest of the night blowing money on her. As it turned out the exact opposite was the case. I asked why she was wanting to know and she said that she hoped I wasn't wanting to go to the club! This threw me for a loop so I asked her why and she said that it was against club rules to date customers so if I went to the club I'd have to see one of the other girls instead of her. She said "I won't be at work next week, so it's safe for you to go and have a good time then if you want". I told her I didn't know we were dating and she said that she hoped we were. I told her to enjoy her trip and to call me when she got back. She called me at work the day she got back to town and said she wanted to see me. She said that this time she wanted to cook dinner for me at her place. I went over to her place that evening (Friday) and ended up spending the entire weekend there. We have been dating regularly since around November, and while I still go to the other clubs ocassionally I have quit going to the club she works at. Anyway, she has told me many times that a lot of the girls do meet guys they would like to date but that either the guys get the wrong impression (like I did at first) and think they are just after money, or they find out the guys have lied about wives, girlfriends, etc. She said that even if they do go out with a customer is seldom works out because most guys like going to the clubs and looking at the girls until one of the girls is their girlfriend then they get jealous and want them to quit dancing. Basically what it comes down to is that if both people are honest and comfortable with the relationship it can work, but it isn't easy. The guy and the girl both have to be open minded and flexible or it will never happen. If a girl shows interest in a guy it's not always about the money. Like skdii said, these girls often don't have a lot of normal relationships. Sometimes it's tougher for them to meet someone and have a relationship than guys would believe.