Man racks up $700 lap dance tab. Tries to offer Chipotle gift card as payment.
A Kokomo man is sitting in the Howard County Jail after allegedly trying to use a used Chipotle gift card to cover his $700 bill Tuesday evening.
Ryan Wermedia, 41, of Kokomo, was booked on two counts of simple theft.
Witnesses say they watched the man ask the dancer for more than 20 private dances in a two-hour span.
“He just kept asking the DJ to play ‘Free Bird’ over and over again,” one witness said. “And whenever someone would ask him if he had money, he just kept telling everyone he had a lot of ‘guacamole.’”
The “guacamole” turned out to be an actual Chipotle gift card with barely $14 left on it.
Police say when they approached the man, he had “significant crust” on the outside of his khaki shorts.
He also reportedly argued that he technically only owed the club $20 because “Free Bird is a long-ass song.”
Ryan was then placed in handcuffs and booked at the Howard County Jail. His bond is set at two thousand dollars.
The suspect, however, says he plans on suing the establishment for what he calls “an extreme case of rug burn on my private area.”
Replies (9)Latest
🤣
Ha ha. Free Ryan Wermedia! He was obviously too fucked up to give consent. Too many funny pieces to this story; Free Bird, Chipotle/ “guacamole”, crusty pants, rug burns lol
I live in Indianapolis. I sometimes go up to the Hip Hugger but have not been there for awhile. I am surprised to hear they have a DJ now. When I used to go, the strippers would put money in a jukebox and dance to that. The owner banned modern day ghetto rap type music so you might hear something like sixties soul artists such as James Brown or Otis Redding. As an old Boomer, I like that type of music.
I got fooled on that one. :)
The giveaway is, it's been a long time since the days when they had carpeting to give rug burns.
What did he expect? If he read the information available here he would have known Olive Garden was the only acceptable restaurant gift card.
Nice touch by the PoPo to mention the "crust"
I've gotten zipper burn on my dick trying to fuck an overly cautious dancer through the fly in my pants. Two times, before we made adjustments. Thankfully, tender as that tissue is, it heals fast, to avoid awkward questions
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