Lady Friend Insists A Woman's
attractiveness doesn't affect my performance. Unfortunately, she is wrong. Guy friends spout the same nonsense, btw.
Yesterday, was probably one of the clearest examples. Have a very nice dancer without the looks I like playing with me and my response is just almost zero. That happened a few times. Hottie doesn't even need to be nice--makes no difference to my performance---it is like I'm a 16 year old stud again. Contact can be good quality or poor as long as she got the look I like there will be excitement for me. And, it can be one hottie right after another. The only thing that kills the fun is a dancer with the wrong looks.
I feel bad because the dancer with the wrong looks is usually a better match for good conversation or a very fun non-sexual evening. It is frustrating as hell. Getting the girlfriend treatment should be a lot easier as well, but what good is that if your body has almost no desire for her. Really, I'd probably get more excited just pumping gas or cooking on the grill----not that either is sexually exciting. It is just how boring it is for potential erotic fun with a woman with the wrong looks is. Hell, she could be ripping off her clothes and I would be feeling put the clothing back on-----not a question of her being ugly, just my extreme lack of interest if she doesn't have the looks I need.
My lady friend thinks I can learn to perform even where the woman doesn't interest me. Who knows maybe it is some type of yoga, but her first suggestion was ED medication. I told her that seemed extreme especially since there was zero problem when the woman had the right looks. Besides that ED medication is hardly risk free . . . of course that is true of just living.
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Some dancers seem to interact with your body and get you excited while others don't. Some don't look that sexy to me either and as far as excitement goes, I could be looking at a blank sheet of paper and get just as excited. I don't get too excited looking at a blank piece of paper. Then there are dancers that are like eewww, put some clothes on. I wish I had been looking at a blank piece of paper instead of her.
LOL! I can really identify with looking at a blank sheet of paper casualguy and with wishing some dancers would get fully dressed.
So, yes, unless I'm totally desperate and horny beyond my normal range, she has to have the physical traits that turn me on. Admittedly, a woman that isn't quite what I find attractive can turn me on for a short period of time - depending on what she is doing, but after 15 min or so (the less attractive, the less time it takes), my mind kicks in and I start getting bored with it, unless I am able to finish quickly, I might not be able to or want to finish.
I didn't think it was an instant hard-on. I thought it allowed some men who had performance problems to perform and it some cases it worked like magic.
The woman who was thinking magic pill is of all professions a pharmacist. So it could be she just sees drugs at the solution. Also, attractiveness doesn't mean much of anything to her if you're talking about looks. For her it is all about personality, and success or lack thereof.
I don't even consider the way my body reacts as a performance problem. A problem, yes, in that if my body would react differently then I'd be with time with women who are much better matches. A problem, no, in that with the right look, good or bad personality, I'm Mr. Stud. :) OK, perhaps not Mr. Stud, but not lacking in EP either.
I guess an analogy would be the typical car. Fill its tank full of water and most likely it ain't going no where, no matter how wonderful and pure the water is. Give me attractive women who are generally wonderful, but aren't fuel in sense of gasoline to the internal combustion engine and I ain't going no where. Even with lots of intimate physical contact it is like a sputtering car engine. I NEED the right fuel. Unfortunately, that fuel usually comes with trouble and when it is trouble free it is like finding heaven. :)
In other words, how many fat chicks say men shouldn't like skinny chicks? Or shouldn't care? Lots. How many fat chicks are almost OBSESSED with the idea of talking men out of being "wrong" about our interests? Lots.
Then, how many skinny chicks run around obsessing over the fact that male preferences are wrong? Lots fewer.
Gee what a surprise.
Next time someone tries to politically-correct you into being something different in order that they might "approve" of you, just ask them, "What do you stand to gain from it?" That'll shut 'em up.
Hi Book Guy,
I wonder have you ever read the Myth of Male Power. I just read excerpts from and about it.
It seems like normally the attack on males is done to strengthen the government which is popular all along the political spectrum. From supposed conservative President George Bush to Jesse Jackson to the NRA to gun control advocates. Even those attacked by government repeatedly e.g. illegal drug users seem overwhelmingly and unendingly in favor of giving it more money and more control. Supposed free market types jump on the more government bandwagon when it appeals to their narrow interests e.g. George Wills wants more government mandates and funds for the disabled because his daughter is disabled. And, yet for some wacky reason George Wills doesn't approve of more mandates and funds for children living in poverty.
The latest attack that I saw was an ad on tv where the tough cop asks the villian what would a 22 year old man want with a, it was either a 15 or 16 year old virgin. Hello, drum roll please people. Apparently the nitwits out there can't even figure out their beloved government blesses such relationships as long as the couple gets a government approval i.e. a government marriage license. I'm assuming perhaps incorrectly that the government was funding the latest propaganda about 22 year old men with young virgins just as it did with the drug propaganda inserted into news and entertainment.
Anyway, better to sign up rather than complain. There is some incredible stat out their that extreme wealth is usually built on some government license or benefit e.g. Microsoft and it copyright protection, Disney and its retroactive theft thru law.
I get the same nonsense about looks not mattering from guy friends. They come with nonsense about doing it in the dark. I think even good old Ben Franklin advocated something along those lines.
Then there is the whole it's shallow bs, or you want her as a trophy bs, or you're not attractive bs. Shallow to appreciate and want to be near and enjoy beauty? I assume some percentage of men are looking for a trophy, but that seems strange to me. You can be ugly as dog shit and still land a hot woman. (And, the reverse is true as well. What was Ted Dancer with Whoopi assuming that was a real relationship. Anyway, I's seen ugly as shit women with what would be considered very attractive men. Usually the men didn't want an attractive woman taking any of their light. Better to highlight their attractiveness by getting a total dog so as to make a more striking contrast.)
Yes, that sounds normal. Especially if she knows how to use her hands. For whatever reason I'm not setup like that. The looks rule. And, attractive just doesn't cut it. I see plenty of attractive normal size of even big women and it is odd that they will do anything for me. Yes, there are exceptions--very few and far between and usually I will recognize them almost immediately.