Stripper with a burka . . .

JaBlake: Interesting story. That's a good approach you are taking with this girl, and similar to my approach. She has to feel comfortable, and a little time and patience up front could payoff big in the future. Out of curiosity, what's the age difference between you and her? Also, does that age difference appear to be a show stopper for her?

Hi DougS,

Let's just say the age difference is decades. No disrespect, but I think you may be reading what you would like to see into my post.

There is NO realistic possiblity of a real relationship and such isn't wanted: She is measuring time in terms of hours and days and she is in high demand. Tomorrow she could be in New York without even a goodbye. Looking for a "payoff big in the future" would most likely lead to heartache. I enjoyed the time that I spent with her because she is hot and has a high level of emotions. 1. She has the looks. 2. She has an interesting personality. 3. Her emotions were so high energy even when she was hiding under all the heavy clothing--it was wonderful, a real high. 4. In the club she was very high skill i.e. her movements were imo superior to most other dancers--I for whatever reasons prefer the way she moves while some other guy may hate it.

Just Say No to Relationships!

I don't think I'm communicating very well. I went slow with her because it was enjoyable and if I tried to force the issue there is little doubt should would comply, but it takes ALL the fun out for me. Other guys might be look she's a ho and treat her like one and if she is unhappy who cares. If that is what rocks their boat, then whatever. It leaves me cold and it has nothing to do about some morality garbage or right or wrong. I just happen to get off on pleasure and part of the pleasure is in being nice. If a woman is looking for a brute, then most likely it ain't a good match for either of us--paid or unpaid.

One misconception for both customers and more commonly hos is that because it is paid fun there is no need for the customer to be nice. Also, if he is nice then he wants a relationship.

JaBlake: I wasn't reading anything into what you were saying in your post. My question about the age difference was because I was trying to compare her reaction, to my situation. I'm sure you've read that I've been spending time OTC with my ATF, and have been trying to sort out the feelings (hers and mine). There's an age difference with her (20+ years), though she's never acted like that's an issue.

Personally, I don't get off on being nice. I'm just a nice guy and I treat women very well. Hell, if I was a woman, I'd be all over me! Alas, as we've discussed in other threads, though... girls don't usually go for the nice guys... if two guys looked identical, but one was nice and one had the "bad boy" 'tude, the girls would pick the latter. Go figure.

Hi DougS,

I thought and I could be mistaken that you read that I was seeking a real relationship with this young woman i.e. an unpaid relationship.

Although there are guides e.g. prostitutes don't enjoy sex with clients and strippers are just about the money, they are hardly universal truths. They are good guides generally that can save the unwary -the straight- a lot of emotional pain. I was raised where prostitution and crime were considered normal and good. I try and pass for an average joe irl and appreciate it if a working girl, or hood for that matter, consider me a square even if she loathes squares.

Your ATF is an individual. As such she may not care about a large age difference under some or all circumstances--it maybe completely irrelevant to her. If you are emotionally hardy, then enjoy and ride and be yourself- unless of course you are willing to learn a different culture and become a different person to try and cement a possible relationship. And, who knows being an individual she may not fit the molds and will care for you just the way you are. IMHO, I think a straight person seeking a hooker or stripper is just looking for trouble---it is a good general rule not an absolute.

I actually very strongly prefer the gangster culture, but like I said I work at passing as just an ordinary joe. And, in fact I've been away from the game so many years that may be what I am: An old out of touch square. :) Still for the most part the straight culture leaves me dead cold and it is very repulsive to me in large part.

They weren't wearing burkas but the 4 guys that I saw last week at the table next to me were certainly Muslims. And they seemed to be well known by the strippers. I wonder what the Koran has to say about strip clubs. At least they didn't blow the club up.

Koran probably says something similar to what the Bible says. Most of the "Abrahamic" religions are pretty hung up about female nudity and human sexuality.

Religion doesn't keep Muslims away from Detroit strip clubs. Nor does it keep Christians from bombing morally objectionable targets in the US. BTW, Muslims frown on cross-dressing, so you aren't liable to see dudes in burkas.

I posted about the burka dancer because it graphically and humorously showed how just changing the environment can radically change what the dancer presents. A dancer that was very liberal ITC became extremely conservative at the customer's home. ITC she is showing the pink and everything is approvingly up for mutual fondling. OTC she is covered from head to toe and fondling seems out of the question if you care about her feelings.

It gave me a shock and a wake up call yet again.

DougS:

I did remember something from many years back that might have some slight interest to you.

My friend's girlfriend was telling me about this sweet generous wealthy customer who was trying to rescue her----saying he loved her and she could have whatever she wanted etc. As I said before I consider her to be a real sweetie. She actually did care for the customer and her boyfriend made the comment that the guy was old and thus worthless. She told me yes he is old, but that wasn't a problem for her. Her problem was that he was short and worse than that he wasn't dominant. She wanted a dominant man especially one that wanted a family. She told her boyfriend that if a dominant man who wanted a family showed up as a customer and wanted her, she was gone. Wouldn't even pack her bags . . . she desperately wanted a family and said financial security is a very attractive quality to her if children are part of the deal.

So at least for her age wasn't a deal killer. And she was young and very hot. Even an old short guy would have a chance if he met other criteria like being dominant, having wealth, wanting children, etc. I think she would make a good wife if the deal including her having and raising children without financial pressure.

Normally pursuing a stripper is just dumb. Real dumb.

Exceptions to the rule. I have a friend, now retired and in his 60's that married a stripper that worked at the Goldrush Showbar in Atlanta. That was about 30 years ago. They are still married and living in Ft Meyers FL.

I agree... pursuing a dancer IS not the smartest thing to do. But, as was pointed out, there ARE exceptions, and I believe the girl that just happens to be my ATF is one of those exceptions. (of course, she could also be an exceptional actress, though I think she is genuine)

I AGREE 100%. And, I would go for it. And, if it didn't work then I'd lick my wounds and try to keep myself open to the next apparent opportunity.

One of the dumbest things I did and do was be too averse to accepting an apparent good deal. I played it safe mainly for ego and that is just dumb. Better to have egg on my face, truly.

I love to hear exceptions like that shadowcat. :)

I think even intelligent successful men need to be poo pooed when yapping about a romantic connection at a strip club. As I said before my crazy friend, he is intelligent and successful, really hated Angels the first time he went. The dancers were larger than huge. I swear these must be the largest dancers in the world. You have to see to believe. So due to the one visit he is convinced the club is a filthy hole where even a $1 spent is wasted money. For very good reasons he changed that to Angels is heaven on earth and he just wanted to keep spending spending spending.

Then he becomes concerned that he is becoming addicted to Angels. More upsetting he thinks the dancers just like him for his money. I tell him of course the dancers just like you for your money! Now he is confused and he has confused the hell out of me. He wants these young and extremely hot girls to like him for more than his spending, but it so freaking STUPID in that the only thing he has ever really given the dancers to like is his money. Sure he is nice and gentle and clean and etc. But when all is said and done he never treats them as real people with real needs, desires, and problems. And, doesn't spend nearly enough time just hanging out and taking it easy. It is buy, buy, buy, like the dancers are candy. Well, yes the dancers are candy . . . . . . but if you want a deeper connection then you need to offer a deeper connection. Some dancers may be thrilled to take it to the next level if there are common interests and chemistry clicks. The shocking thing is that despite being crazy he is actually very intelligent yet can't see how absurd it is for him to be expecting real romance when he isn't offering anything, but money.

In my mind he is the perfect example of a customer who should not be chasing dancers for real romance. Somehow he thought dollars for dances equals romance. Who knows maybe somewhere there is a dancer that dollars for dances equals romance, but that would definitely be the exception and not the norm.

There is a board on the internet that has a term for that. A.F.C.

Average Frustrated Chump

I'm sometimes like him. I get to the point where I think, "If only" the women I met in real life were as hot looking as the strippers that I'm attracted to, then "I would'nt have to" go to strip clubs. So I'm an AFC too!

Even if the women irl were as hot as the strippers I meet, I would still have the same priority. My need is not to become overly attached to any particular woman. That is my priority in addition to the absolute requirement of HOT! Money helps meet both requirements in a single shot.

It seems like all of my friends want to fix me up with a "nice" woman. That has NO appeal to me. Even if the "nice" woman was young and smoking hot it just seems like a bad situation. It's funny my friends male and female just can't understand where I'm coming from; it makes NO sense to them.

I don't understand why they can't understand. If I said I loved blubber blobs or men, then I think they would immediately get the picture. He loves full figured women i.e. blubber blobs and that is fine. Or, he loves men and that is fine.

Jablake: actually, it does make sense to them. It makes just enough sense, that they are envious of your freedom. The "average" dude who failed to take the road less traveled is always trying to coax other people onto the "average" road, so that he won't feel so much less fulfilled in comparison to their more enjoyable lives. Work conditions (you 'have to' have an 8-to-5 drudge job or else "But what do you DO all day?") and relationships are the biggest culprits, probably because they're the fields where the "average" dude has the greatest disappointment.

Hi Book Guy,

You hit the nail on the head with the "But what do you DO all day?" line. :) When I say sometimes I just take it easy and lounge around that is often met with a look of horror followed by I'd be bored sick. If I say that I worked on the car or the house, then that is usually met with hire someone to do that. I explain, but then I'd have to get a job to hire them. And, it is like of course what do you expect?

When I did have a drudge job, you could work hard and expect to make more or work less and earn less. Working less and earning less was a better deal for me, but it surprised me how angry it would make some people. They'd complain that they had to work hard and so I should work hard also.

A long time ago a lady friend hit the roof when she learned I didn't have insurance which is against the law. I laughed and said the law is a fraud and the promise was if insurance was made mandatory then rates would drop instead they skyrocketed almost immediately. The first time my rates more than doubled, I just quit buying insurance. So when it was voluntary I actually wanted the insurance and it was a good deal. Supposedly some people were getting a "free" ride so it had to be made mandatory to save consumers money. I knew exactly what was going to happen i.e. rates skyrocketing, but I thought it would be a slower process. What is more frustrating was that my lady friend knew just as well that the insurance was a fraud, but she said if I get screwed everyone should get screwed. I smiled and said it is always possible I will get screwed the filth and fraud of law just keeps going putting more and more people behind bars not to mention destroying them financially.