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Aug 29, 2017, 6:11 AM
Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
vip member
Atlanta suburb

A Florida man is now the butt of police's jokes.

Pattreon Stokes is charged with stuffing over $1,000 into his rectum in a sorry attempt to hide the cash from cops, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

The 26-year-old was pulled over by authorities for speeding early Saturday morning. The deputy who pulled Stokes over smelled marijuana coming from inside the car and a search was carried out. Cops found 197 grams of methamphetamine, rock cocaine and 4 grams of heroin.

A small scale, a small amount of marijuana and a large amount of money were also found. Stokes also had a 7-month-old child in the car at the time.

However, when deputies later showed up to collect the money Stokes had on him, they discovered the cash was gone. Stokes allegedly claimed it had already been collected.

That's when deputies noticed a couple of $20 bills spilling out from his — how do we put this delicately? — buttocks.

The Marion County Sheriff's Office then briefly explained what happened next in an amusing Facebook post.

"After a necessary but undesirable process for everyone involved, MCSO Detention Deputies located $1,090.00 in U.S. currency hidden in Stokes' rectum. Judging from Stokes' mug shot, he looks pretty "bummed" about the whole situation…" the Facebook post read.

Man who claimed thief shot him in Bronx really blasted himself The page also joked about the cashiers in Marion County, saying they'd understand if they chose to use gloves on the job from now on.

Stokes was charged with smuggling contraband into a detention facility, trafficking methamphetamine, trafficking heroin, possession of cocaine with the intent to sell, manufacture or deliver, possession of marijuana and possession of drug equipment.

comments (5)

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Avatar for Clubber
Clubber

sc,

Hot sun on the head all year equals these stories, I guess!

Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

I can see why the perp became the butt of all that humor.....

Avatar for Doces300
Doces300

Sounds like he was shitting money...

Avatar for whodey
whodey

They found $1,020, however he had $2k on him. The other inmates are just waiting for him to finish digesting the jail's meatloaf so they can cash in.

I wonder how many strippers can say they've had more than $1,000 stuffed in them?

Avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy

Oh my. But why was he left alone with the money? And, more important ...

Why is this on Facebook?

I mean, I don't sympathize with the idiot, not at all, what a (haha) dumbass. But since when do narratives of the police versions of interrogations, searches, and seizures get described to the public via something other than the initial Gist and then the official Police Report, right out there on the internet, and since when do the officers' snide (though probably accurate) opinions about the stupidity of the alleged perpetrator get made public before arraignment and without right to counsel, privacy, or due process? Evidence? Procedure? Hello?

Sure, the guy stole the money (twice) and made an (haha) ass of himself. But I think the officers who posted the episode on Facebook have probably made it possible for him to own that Police Department through various lawsuits over breaches of many of his rights, including especially the presumption of innocence and the right to fair treatment. After he gets done serving his jail time for the two thefts, of course.

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