When My Wife And I Got Married

They never tell you what you need to know.

5/8/2017 6:01:07 PM

J: When My Wife And I Got Married
P: We mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have sex with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Jennifer Love Hewitt. For our 10th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the MILF next door neighbor.

J: My wife accused me of cheating
P: I said you're starting to sound a lot like my girlfriend

J: I saw 2 guys wearing matching clothing and asked if they were gay
P: They quickly arrested me

J: Ok, so my neighbours officially hate me.
P: Me and a few friends were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. So we all went running to see what was up, and our neighbour's house was on fire! Well, when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever.. Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....Talk about bad timing...