New in the game, smell advice...

You HAVE to shower. Personally my wife knows (we discuss it) she just doesn't want her nose (literally and metaphorically) rubbed in it. Basically "stripperfumes" cause her to act irrationally. You need to shower. If you can't shower at home then join a 24 hour gym.

High-end gyms provide towels and shampoo and soap. But cost about $60/mo. In contrast Planet Fitness runs $10/no but you need your own towels and soap. Decisions, decisions.

Here is the answer.

youtube.com

I don't have a S.O. but yeah washing it off seems to be about the only way - if hou have a gym membership then you can try to go by & take a quick shower and you probably don't even need soap - or if there was a pool where you could take a quick dip and then dry off - can't think of anything else right now.

Maybe have a gallon of water in the car and somehow rinse with it

A key advantage to hotel meet ups. Showering before and after.

Keep cologne in your car. Baby wipes help.

If you can't shower afterwards, you're taking a huge risk. And if you think that perfume and general stripper smell is bad on clothes, just be glad that you don't have long hair (I assume that you don't). If I didn't shower and wash my hair before heading home I'd be busted faster than you could say "I wasn't at a stripclub, dear....I swear!"

If you think the perfume is bad you better hope you don't run into a stripper who wears glitter!

"...my wife couldn't recover figure after first kid (she stays at 200 lbs - 5' 8") I don't see my self leaving her because she is a great mother and wife,..."

I'm going to focus on this part of your question. Child birth is hell on the body. If your wife works out and has been trying to get back in shape but has plateaud and just can't make any progress with her core have y'all had a doctor check out her diastatis recti muscles aka tummy muscles aka ab muscles? Basically during child birth the ab muscles can usually rip apart from the sternum all way down to the belly button and NO amount of working out will ever get them back. The only solution is some form of tummy tuck or mini tuck where they get sewn back together. if you want to help your wife you should talk about it and see if that's something she wants or needs. If she's tried to get back in shape but can't make any progress it's demoralizing and it's easy for someone to eventually just give up.

Other than free meat, working at a rendering plant has very few advantages. However, after a sc visit, I simple stop by the plant, walk the floor, and I'm good to go home.

As above, you have to shower. When I was married, like you I changed shirts ... although I just brought an extra shirt, rather than buy a new one every time lol... In fact, if I left the house in the morning before she did -- that is, she saw what I was wearing when I left the house -- then I'd change into the spare shirt to go SCing, then back to my original shirt, so I was wearing my original shirt when I got home.

Before I got home, I'd go to the gym and shower. She was used to my routine -- go to gym a few times a week -- so that even covered the explanation as to why there was always a gym bag in my car with workout and regular clothes in it.

Good luck. I don't have a S/O, but I do keep a regular 'SC outfit' that I typically wear. So hopefully all the smells stay on that outfit. I often pull over and change to my 'SC outfit' in my car on the way to the venue. I find usually most of the smells stay on my SC outfit...

Corvus said it perfectly. Glitter is a bitch even after showering. Got me caught up when I was dating a girl.

You might consider stopping at an Asian Massage Parlor on the way home for a table shower and BJ. That should send you home clean and happy.

You could always start smoking. My wife has never asked why I smell like women's body spray, but she always notices that my breath smells like beer.

No one mentioned the KFC option? No? Am I not on Tuscl? ;) Use a bunch of alcohol wet naps from a chicken joint (KFC) or wipe off with baby wipes. AKA the "homeless person bath" or the "apocalypse prepper bath." /sarcasm.

For glitter, you need to use a vacuum cleaner and tape. Vacuum up as much as you can first, then use tape in your hand to blot up the rest and maybe vacuum off one more time. That should work on clothes, you body, and maybe the hair on your head. Glitter. Lol. Aka "craft herpes" in the homes of small children or tweens.

Go thru a carwash without the car

Anyone else remember those old spice body wipes for men? I used those things quite a bit before they discontinued them. The closest I can find now are makeup removal wipes for women. (I visit a lot of industrial plants and construction sites for my job, and need to wipe sweat and grime from my face and hands)

Lol Papi

I usually hit the gym on the way home, go swimming, and return home in gym attire. Come home smelling like chlorine.

Maybe you should hit the gym with your wife, OP? She sounds awesome, and just needs to adjust her lifestyle after the childbirth.

Baby wipes definitely don't work as well as a real shower, but they are pretty good, and I used to sometimes do especially my buddies could confirm for me that I didn't smell like stripper. Note that when you're covered in stripper scent, you go nose-blind to it after a while, so you'll never be able to tell for sure if you smell like floozy, always better to have someone else smell you. No baby wipe is going to do much if she was wearing good perfume-strength fragrance; luckily few strippers do.

Of course, then you come home smelling like baby wipe or whatever. Really depends on how closely she notices you and your smells.

Again, the thing that worked best for me is that nothing was out of the ordinary on strip club days. I always had a gym bag in the trunk. I often came home smelling like I just showered, or alternatively just sweaty and in gym clothes, both on strip club and non strip club days. I always came home wearing the same clothes I left the house in. There was no pattern to get suspicious over.

"smell advice"

If ya smelllllll what The Rock is COOKING!

He goes by Duane Johnson now.

motor oil. especially used motor oil. wouldn't take butt a couple of well placed smears.

I remember the days of hiding my strip club visits from the old ball and chain so this is like a walk down memory lane. I usually was able to take a shower before I went home and this usually solved it, although I remember one time that the wife could still smell the strippers on me 24 hours after my visit even though I showered. She had a very keen sense of smell. I told her that the woman next to me on the plane was wearing very strong perfume.

Another trick that I remember when I couldnt shower is that I would rub some body wash on various parts of my body before I went home. It wasn't suspicious because I use body wash in the shower but it did mask the smell. I also always changed clothes between my club visit and going home if I couldn't shower. And I washed as best I could in the club bathroom before I left.

The only other tip I can remember is to avoid strippers who have unusually strong perfume, or who wear glitter, or worst of all, spray on tan.

If you dont like body wash then find some cologne and start using it often enough that she won't be suspicious when you come home from the club smelling like your cologne.

Also... Don't forget to thoroughly spray your car's interior and the clothes you change out of with unscented fabreeze. If you can't shower it helps if you run some through your hair.

The only place I could find the good stuff is at WalMart.

Where I live rosemary grows in pretty much everyone's front yard. I'll stop on my way home, take a short stroll until I find a decent rosemary bush, snag a few sprigs off of it, and rub it all over my shirt and behind my ears. I come home smelling like a cross between a commercial kitchen or a pine forest, but I've never gotten any complaints or suspicious looks, FWIW. Then again, my wife is a smoker, so maybe she just can't tell.

Just stop and get gasoline. manage to get a little on you and their will be no problem. Good excuse to wash right away and to throw clothes in the wash.

Funny this comes up today. Yesterday I didn't have time to hit the gym on my way home, so I used the bathroom to wash my face as well as a I could. I'm also in the habit of changing clothes as soon as I come home from work, and I think that helps. Or maybe my wife knows and ignores.

Just last week my wife said that I smelled like flowers. I blamed it on my new anti-perspirant which I had commented on earlier in the day (before my trip to the club). I think she bought it.

Baby wipes, febreeze and a change of clothes. (dirty ones stay in the trunk and get washed at a later date...and I get bonus points for doing laundry)

Eventually you've got to stand up for what you believe in.

At these strip clubs, do you find marriage counselors? Do you find divorce attorneys?

These are the people who can help you.

SJG

Three things work for me. Habits - I go out often for legit reasons and almost always shower immediately after I return - the exact same routine I use when I return from a strip club - boring routine dulls the watcher. FeBreze - that stuff kills just about any odor. I carry a bottle in the car and literally spray it on me, front and back, before I get back in the car. It really does kill perfume, smoke, and coochie smells. Cheap after-shave - I always use the same drug store brand after shave before I leave the house, and keep a bottle in the car. After the Febreze has destroyed the stripper stench (and had time to dry) I reapply the after-shave lotion and ride home with the windows partly open. If there is the same "lingering" scent on me when I get home as there was when I left, I get a free pass to the bathroom for a shower.

It's a means to and end. The wife agrees since we're a team. Personally I shower and change clothes at home both before and after clubbing. I kiss her before I leave for the club since she'll probably be asleep or close to it when I get back. As soon as walk in the door, I'm probably covered in stripper bodyspray, so I left the windows in the car cracked half way down overnight to air out, as I come inside I strip and put the clothes downstairs for the wife to launder later, and then I shower. Then crawl into bed with the wife. That works for me. She asks if I'm in a better mood for going and if I'm in a better frame of mind now. That's all that matters to her. It's a means to an end as a hard working American. I work hard so I deserve my downtime when I can get it which isn't nearly often enough! It works for us.

For me clubbing is my downtime / release valve from the day for day grind.

Actually, we both find it funny when we still find stripper glitter in various places for several days following a visit. Even after multiple showers that shit seems to just stick in weird places for some reason. Always fun recalling what we did together.

damn. some of you guys have nice and maybe understanding ( or tolerant) wives or girlfriends. anyway... mine wasn't or never will be. glad to be divorced. overall it is better to be single.