Getting Burned Makes You Less of a Person?
Kyle1111
When I was with my own little ethnic group I didn't need to worry about being polite or respectful and getting burned was very rare! Taking the law into your own hands was considered a good thing. :) Meeting people outside the group required acting, so as not to seem too extreme (often I failed to do a good job of acting :( ), and more importantly to respect other people's feelings.
I'm not of the school that believes what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I've seen too many people reduced to almost nothing to believe that. One picture that comes to mind are these 2 kids who believed sniffing glue was a good idea. I don't know how other people react to glue sniffing, but these 2 became literal *blank slates*, fast! To me this was far more depressing than addiction, which can be heart breaking to watch.
So, I see some customers in strip clubs becoming nasty and cynical because either 1 or more dancers cheated or disappointed them. I see myself sometimes not treating the dancer like a real person (usually I'm thinking good fantasy experience). This one young girl broke down in tears because I didn't want to buy a dance. She was very attractive, maybe a 9, but I really get a lot more satisfaction from perfection. Anyway, I bought a dance (to try and make her feel better) and got to know her a little bit. Nice kid, who in her own way had become hardened by the business.
Anyway, I try and keep and open mind when dealing with dancers. It helps to remember that the harm dancers have done to me in miniscule compared to harm done by others--especially those who are supposed to be protecting my rights. Of course, the financial cost is a dance or dances I don't really want, which is somewaht significant because I'm very low income. The emotional cost is not being considerate to those who may truly need some consideration.
I'm trying to think of how going to strip clubs may have made me a better person . . . It has kept me from real relationships which would not be good for me or the woman . . . It has broadened my horizons by introducing me to a lot people I never otherwise come in contact with (of course, this could be considered a negative like education) . . .
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You could afford pets? :) I remember the family dog being sent to "heaven" and the family cat being "lost." (Even I almost made it to the other side?--costs needed to get cut.) What the hell at least the neighbors had plenty of food even if they resented my visits. :) And, at least it wasn't a constant grinding poor. More like a roller coaster without guardrails. For a fairly brief period as a youngster I lived in an old mansion in Coral Gables. It was *briefly* featured in a movie The Howling??? Showed the most worthless part of the home, but looked better than when I was living there. :)
I remember this one stripper her was telling me a *true* sob story. She didn't believe that I didn't have the resources to help her so she accepted my offer to visit where I lived. She ended up wanting to help me! :) I thought that was very sweet (but wrong headed--working women shouldn't support men; especially men who don't like to work).
She just couldn't comprehend why I would *waste* $ on strippers when I was in even worse shape financially than she was. I tried explaining that her services were far more important than what other people might rightly consider basic services like hot water (cold water is no fun for showering) or a working refrigerator or an oven/stove top (I did have a hot plate for cooking rice) or more than a couple of working lights. At first she was afraid because most of the lights weren't working, but what the heck lights cost $ to buy and keep lit. The bad old days . . .
Anyway, after that she *tried* to give me free dances. I told her if I wanted free I'd be looking for a girlfriend.
Buying dances I don't really want is what hurts $$$ wise. Yes, I could say NO.
Sometimes it's "better" to do things you'd rather avoid for the sake of the greater picture (other people's interests). I've "lent" $$$ I knew would never be repaid. I've purposely avoided being "clear" in my communications. I've worn clothing I detested. Strip clubs are the same deal, except if it was a club where my tiny little ethnic group was hanging out. In that case, almost anything by yours truly would be accepted. It is very nice to be among "family" where you can show true emotion and take true action and be somewhat *understood* and accepted and even apppreciated.