Most of the time after buying the drinks for the dancers, they're nowhere to be seen! Occasionally, coming back and have sips, and going away, and so on........
FUNSEEKER: Maybe it's time to find a new club or socialize with different dancers. Personally, I've never been asked by a dancer to buy a drink. You'd probably like one place I visit, Platinum Plus up in Portland, ME. Not sure if its just a local rule, but the dancers are actully not allowed to ask for dances while they have a drink in their hand. If a dancer is carrying a drink then she's considered to be on break. She can hang out with customers but not ask for any dances.
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If I'm sitting in a new place and a dancer comes over and sits for a while, than I'll offer to buy a drink. In my mind, I'm not trying to get her to sit longer but to show appreciation for time already spent. Usually it's because I don't intend to get a dance, so when a waitress comes by or when she pops the question I'll say something like, "Thanks for spending some time. I think I'm all set as far as getting a dance, but I would be happy to buy you a drink if you like." Sometimes they will politely decline and move on to another customer, while other times they'll accept and sit for a little longer. Since in a way she's already earned the drink, I wouldn't mind if she took it with her, but this is actually fairly rare in my experience.
Now, when I'm at a club visiting one of my favorites, I'll sometimes order a drink and have it waiting for her. Yes, there may be times when she only stops by to check on me and take a quick sip, but in the long run, even if she's getting up occasionally, she'll end up sitting with me for most of the day. If I'm hanging out for 4-5 hours, I don't expect my favorite dancers to sit with me continuously - I respect that they're working.
(On a side note: One place I visit charges a premium for customers to buy drinks. A drink which might cost me $8 costs the dancer only $2. My favorite dancer at this place never lets me buy drinks, even for myself. She sets herself and me up at the dancer's rate knowing that whatever I save on drinks, I'll probably end up tipping back to her throughout the day.)
There is a simple and elegant solution to getting caught in the trap you are describing, FunSeeker: The word's "No thanks". If you are in a club with VIP dances, and you are interested in a dance from her, you may add, "I'd rather spend it on a dance later".
If you are in a club without decent VIP dances or are not prepared to spend the money VIP dances require, perhaps you should be content to watch the stage and tip what you appreciate seeing there.
Sure, it would be nice to be able to go to a club and not spend anything and get everything (drinks, stage show, conversation, lap dances, all-night orgies (KIDDING!! kind of..)) free, but that isn't how the real world works. Decide if what you are getting is worth what you are paying. If not, stop paying and spend your money on something else.
verfolgung - It happens majority of the times, not all the times. Some dancers always find some excuse after we buy the drinks, such as, "excuse for a minute", "I'm up for dance on the stage", etc........ In fact when we buy drinks, most of the times it was at the dancers' request! When we oblige, they should respect the patrons who shell out so much money and the dancers must mind their manners.
"If you are asked, "Would you like to buy the lady a drink?" and you pay your money and "the lady" gets a drink, how have you been ripped-off?"
Why do we by dancers' drinks? Because, hoping the dancers would give us the company. Many times they are nowhere to be seen. Occasionally, drops by to have sips and goes away and so on........ Also, many times, as soon as we buy drinks they may be gone for their dance on the stage. If the dancer knows she about to go to the stage why ask for such expensive drinks???????? These kinds of games are of indeed rip-offs!!!!!!
As with so many other topics, it really depends on how each club is set up. I totally avoid places with the $20-30 "dancers drink". I'm just not going to pay that kind of money for a dancer to sit at my table and drink a small champagne glass with Kool-Aid in it. There are too many clubs (perhaps in a different geographical area, but i travel a lot) where that is the price of a high mileage lap dance. In my favorite clubs many of the dancers recognize me and know I'll buy dances before the night is out. If it is a slow night, they might even come over and sit without expecting anything at all if they know one of my favorites is working (but they likely will get a dance or two before i move on to my favorite). They know that one of these nights I'll be there when none of the others are dancing and I'll make it worth their while. I understand the dancers (notice the job description: dancer, not sitter)need to make money, but if they are in a state where no lap dances are allowed, they better be good enough on stage to pull the tips in that way. Yes, I am willing to tip several dollars a song for a GOOD stage show. Yes I am willing to pay $20-30 per song for a GOOD couch dance. Yes, if prices and drinks are the same for dancers and customers, I don't mind spending $5-6 for the dancer a beer or diet coke or whatever. BUT NO, I am not willing to pay several dollars a minute for someone to sit at my table where they are not even dancing.
I don't consider "dancer drinks" a "rip-off", however. If you are asked, "Would you like to buy the lady a drink?" and you pay your money and "the lady" gets a drink, how have you been ripped-off? You knew what you were buying: a preposterously overpriced drink used to separate your money from you. That's all you payed for and that's all you got.
"One dancerasked me to buy a drink for her boyfriend,...."
SuperDude,
Some dancers will do anything to get a drink with manners! With no regrad to the patrons. It's time for us to draw the line. No company, NO dirnks! That's it!!
FONDL - Very well said! Dancers should and must mind their manners. Going away from the person who bought the drinks without giving the company is indeed rude!! It's time for us to say NO! We will buy you the dancers' drinks, only if you provide us the company.
To some extent it depends on the place and the circumstances, but in general if I buy a dancer a drink I expect her to remain with me while she drinks it. To leave is rude. Usually it happens like this: a dancer sits down and starts talking to me, and a waitress immediately comes over and asks if I'd like to buy the lady a drink. I then ask her if she wants one and she says yes. If she then takes the drink and leaves to sit with someone else, she just lost a customer for good. If she's going to leave she should turn down the drink.
This Sunday I showed up around 2PM to visit one of my favorite dancers. She knew, per my normal routine, that I was likely going to be hanging around until the end of her shift at 7PM. (Now when I walk in the door, all a dancer can count on making from me is about $50 or enough to cover tip out, so if she spent the day with me she'd esentially net $0. However, because I'm there a dancer knows any other dances she can get are profit.) For the first few hours it was pretty much touch and go. She would stop by to check in on me, but then dash off. Sometimes one of her friends would keep me company, so, as I said before, I would buy them a drink as a courtesy knowing I wasn't going to get any dances. After a few hours my favorite dancer was satisfied with what she made for the day and spent the rest of her shift (except for stage sets) hanging out with me - about three hours. We had a lot of fun and plenty of laughs.
FUNSEEKER: Sure, I've seen this happen many times before. Especially if its busy. Buying a dancer a drink is a nice gesture, but remember they are still there working.
I often buy drinks for my favorite dancers. However, sometimes I buy a dancer a drink for sitting down and having a conversation, rather than just walking up to me and asking, "wanna dance?" I use it as a gesture to say, "thanks", even though I'm not going to get a dance. Then I don't care if she takes the drink away with her.
My guess is you're buying drinks in order to get a dancer to spend some extra time with you. In that case, there are certainly some things to consider...
Are you a regular, or does she know you yet?
If your not a regular, does she have a reason to think you (or the group you may be with) are going to be spending a lot of money on her?
Remember, especially if its busy, each moment a dancer spends with you, she's giving up an opportunity to make money from other customers.
If you're like me, and not a high roller, as you become a regular (as long as your not a jerk) and a dancer becomes more comfortable being around you, the rules will begin to change. There are certain customers who dancers will choose to spend their down time with. Usually it's someone she thinks is a good guy who respects that she's there working.
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If I'm sitting in a new place and a dancer comes over and sits for a while, than I'll offer to buy a drink. In my mind, I'm not trying to get her to sit longer but to show appreciation for time already spent. Usually it's because I don't intend to get a dance, so when a waitress comes by or when she pops the question I'll say something like, "Thanks for spending some time. I think I'm all set as far as getting a dance, but I would be happy to buy you a drink if you like." Sometimes they will politely decline and move on to another customer, while other times they'll accept and sit for a little longer. Since in a way she's already earned the drink, I wouldn't mind if she took it with her, but this is actually fairly rare in my experience.
Now, when I'm at a club visiting one of my favorites, I'll sometimes order a drink and have it waiting for her. Yes, there may be times when she only stops by to check on me and take a quick sip, but in the long run, even if she's getting up occasionally, she'll end up sitting with me for most of the day. If I'm hanging out for 4-5 hours, I don't expect my favorite dancers to sit with me continuously - I respect that they're working.
(On a side note: One place I visit charges a premium for customers to buy drinks. A drink which might cost me $8 costs the dancer only $2. My favorite dancer at this place never lets me buy drinks, even for myself. She sets herself and me up at the dancer's rate knowing that whatever I save on drinks, I'll probably end up tipping back to her throughout the day.)
If you are in a club without decent VIP dances or are not prepared to spend the money VIP dances require, perhaps you should be content to watch the stage and tip what you appreciate seeing there.
Sure, it would be nice to be able to go to a club and not spend anything and get everything (drinks, stage show, conversation, lap dances, all-night orgies (KIDDING!! kind of..)) free, but that isn't how the real world works. Decide if what you are getting is worth what you are paying. If not, stop paying and spend your money on something else.
Why do we by dancers' drinks? Because, hoping the dancers would give us the company. Many times they are nowhere to be seen. Occasionally, drops by to have sips and goes away and so on........ Also, many times, as soon as we buy drinks they may be gone for their dance on the stage. If the dancer knows she about to go to the stage why ask for such expensive drinks???????? These kinds of games are of indeed rip-offs!!!!!!
I don't consider "dancer drinks" a "rip-off", however. If you are asked, "Would you like to buy the lady a drink?" and you pay your money and "the lady" gets a drink, how have you been ripped-off? You knew what you were buying: a preposterously overpriced drink used to separate your money from you. That's all you payed for and that's all you got.
Some dancers will do anything to get a drink with NO manners!
SuperDude,
Some dancers will do anything to get a drink with manners! With no regrad to the patrons. It's time for us to draw the line. No company, NO dirnks! That's it!!
This Sunday I showed up around 2PM to visit one of my favorite dancers. She knew, per my normal routine, that I was likely going to be hanging around until the end of her shift at 7PM. (Now when I walk in the door, all a dancer can count on making from me is about $50 or enough to cover tip out, so if she spent the day with me she'd esentially net $0. However, because I'm there a dancer knows any other dances she can get are profit.) For the first few hours it was pretty much touch and go. She would stop by to check in on me, but then dash off. Sometimes one of her friends would keep me company, so, as I said before, I would buy them a drink as a courtesy knowing I wasn't going to get any dances. After a few hours my favorite dancer was satisfied with what she made for the day and spent the rest of her shift (except for stage sets) hanging out with me - about three hours. We had a lot of fun and plenty of laughs.
very good advice and thank you! Something to think about before buying drinks for the dancers.
I often buy drinks for my favorite dancers. However, sometimes I buy a dancer a drink for sitting down and having a conversation, rather than just walking up to me and asking, "wanna dance?" I use it as a gesture to say, "thanks", even though I'm not going to get a dance. Then I don't care if she takes the drink away with her.
My guess is you're buying drinks in order to get a dancer to spend some extra time with you. In that case, there are certainly some things to consider...
Are you a regular, or does she know you yet?
If your not a regular, does she have a reason to think you (or the group you may be with) are going to be spending a lot of money on her?
Remember, especially if its busy, each moment a dancer spends with you, she's giving up an opportunity to make money from other customers.
If you're like me, and not a high roller, as you become a regular (as long as your not a jerk) and a dancer becomes more comfortable being around you, the rules will begin to change. There are certain customers who dancers will choose to spend their down time with. Usually it's someone she thinks is a good guy who respects that she's there working.