Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
<p>Hello, President Obama,´ a heavily accented southern voice said.This is Archie, down here at Goliad, Texas. I am callin' to tell y´all we are officially declaring´ war on ya!´
`Well, Archie,´ Barack replied, `this is indeed important news!How big is your army?´
<p>Right now,´ said Archie, after a moments calculation,there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor, Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!´
Barack paused. `I must tell you Archie I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.´
<p>Wow,´ said Archie.I will have to call ya back!´
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. `Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!´
`
And what equipment would that be Archie?´ Barack asked.
`
Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry´s John Deere tractor.´
President Obama sighed. `I must tell you Archie, I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. I have also increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.
<p>Lord above,´ said Archie,I will be getting back to ya.´
Sure enough, Archie rang again about twenty minutes later. `President Obama, the war is still on!
We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us, as well!´
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. `I must tell you, Archie, I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites; and, since we last spoke, I have increased my army to TWO MILLION!´
<p>Well, rats,´ said Archie,I have to phone you back.´
Sure enough, Archie phoned again the next day. `President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you we have had to call off this here war.´
<p>I am sorry to hear that,´ said Barack.Why the sudden change of heart?´
`Well, sir,´ said Archie, ´we have all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers and come to realize there is just no way we can feed two million prisoners.´
Texas confidence cannot be shaken!
