I've been getting dances pretty regularly from the same girl at a club I frequent. It's gotten to the point she stops by to see me almost right away. I like her dances quite a bit and enjoy her company but would like to try some of the other gals without pissing her off. I also prefer to keep going to this club. Have read a few reviews about drama developing and hope to try and avoid that... how do you guys handle these situations?
Just tell her you want to chill by yourself for a while or for tonight/today.
You could tell her you want to get dances from other dancers on this visit but I *personally* don’ t like to say that b/c often times they may then bring their dancer buddy so you can spend $$$ on her buddy if she can’t make it off of you. I personally don’t like dancers being picked out for me or brought to me b/c it puts me in the awkward situation of having to say no to the dancer being brought to me if I don’t like her – I prefer to pick out my own dancers.
We should not feel obliged to always spend on dancers we know. For the most part they don’t give a shit about us and often times they will approach us as we are there long lost love – but they just want our $$$. Most of them have a man they fuck for free and buy dinner and clothes for w/ our $$$. So don’t feel any allegiance to them b/c they don’t feel any towards you. If you didn’t have any $$$ or told them you didn’t have any $$$ - I’m pretty sure they/she would leave you alone.
Pretty much the way you told us. Don't leave out the "I like you dances quite a bit and I enjoy your company" part. There's a small (very small) chance she may want to play hardball, and cut you off. A somewhat more likely risk is that you will fall to a lower tier among her regulars, and she will not be as available for you as she is now.
Or you can just tell her you have a really bad rash b/w your legs and don’t think it would be a good idea for her to give you dances tonight – although this can backfire if the word gets around to others dancers.
That happened to me not too long ago. My old ATF was clingy and possessive. Anyway, another dancer caught my eye, and I told her that I needed a change of pace. She got very upset, and stayed in the dressing room. All the while spreading bad news about me. Anyway, she left that night, and ignored me for a while. In the meantime, I hit it off with the new girl, and we see each other ITC and OTC to this day.
The strip club owner came over to me recently, and said that as a customer, we are always given deference to do what we want. No dancer owns you, and green rules the day. Even though her feelings may be hurt, you've got to do what's best for you.
OP this does sound like tough predicament. Depending on the girl you may actually have to switch clubs for a while in case drama develops.
Usually if I were to approach a customer for a sale and I found that if they say "I'm just going to spread out my money a bit," I understand since they want to try the different variety.
What you could do is buy one from her and then tell her that you'll be spreading the money a bit that night, go make your money, and come back to see me later on.
It's tough because if you say something to her like "I don't have money today" but then she sees you getting dances or paying attention to another girl, she will most likely get mad. But usually the more experienced dancers know that guys often come in to clubs to see the different girls so she might understand. Hopefully.
Forgot to add: But usually the more experienced dancers know that guys often come in to clubs to see the different girls so she might understand <i>if you get one dance from her and then say you will be spreading out your money that night</i>. Hopefully.
That's usually what the guys who like to try different girls say. They'll buy one dance from their favorite and the girl is usually alright since she got a bit of money from the customer and that he was up front with her about him wanting to spread his money.
Thanks for the input yegi and fellas. It is a smaller club-Players Club Baltimore and I like it quite a bit and don't want to have to change clubs as I really like this place. Afraid to try the just want to hang by myself line, because it is a small club and the girl will see me getting dances with others. I think I'll try the spread the money around tactic, or be direct and say it's not your night or want to try other dancers tonight.
Once, I nervously said, "I was hoping for some strange tonight." She looked at me and laughed (beats slapping me!) then said to me, "I think I know what you like. Do you want me to show her how you like it or do you want her all to yourself?" Same girl yelled at me (and "shunned" me) for flirting with a waitress just a few weeks later.
Every single dancer is different, and they change every time they blink. What works right now will get you hurt later tonight. Be careful, hope she goes along, but be prepared for her being your ex regular!
I really don't have anyone I'd describe as an ATF, though there are a few girls who, if they are in the club when I am there, I'll be pulling them over for lap dances without question. But yeah, there are those who get clingy, and many times it's not because you always pick them, but maybe because of some very subtle signal that THEY think you are giving out or something...sometimes I'm amazed at dancers' views on why they stick around me or stay away....."Oh, I saw how you looked at her so I figured you didn't want me to get in your way".....
Anyway, my response if I want to try some different dancers is always, "thanks, but I want to try some of the other dancers". Honesty is always my policy. Either that or, "hey, what's her name?" as I point to another dancer. Sometimes that will work to my benefit, and the dancer will say "Oh, her? Want me to call her over?"
Though its guaranteed you'll hurt someone's feelings no matter what you say or do sometimes, but not much you can do about that. Often I've found that if you're the least bit dishonest, the dancers are really good at ferreting out the truth and catching you in a lie, so it's just not worth it. "Yeah, but last time you said..." or whatever....
I think it's respectful to be honest with the dancers. Just like we hate strippers who feed us a line of BS, I think it's wrong to give them a line of crap too.
With one exception...
when they start asking serious questions about me and my work and are you married and all this, all bets are off. None of their business, and the last thing I want to do in a club is get all serious and discuss my private life. So dishonesty is my policy in that case.
This one is hard to pin down to one simple solution. Sometimes, you can tell them not tonight and that's it, but with some girls, it's not that simple. The easiest thing to do is walk up to the dancer you want to get dances from, because other dancers won't go up to you if you already have one.
Oye Papi, great advice. My ATF happens to be the hottest(IMO) girl in her club and even though, sometimes, I might not get the variety I desire, I always have quality. She don't own me but we know each others habits enough to make trips worthwhile for both parties.
Honesty has always been my policy with every dancer, be it an ATF or a newbie. Last night I encountered a similar situation, although I am just a regular for her and it is not an ATF situation. She was with one of her other regulars before I arrived and I had the opportunity to try out some new girls. I got a few dances with someone who I met a week or so earlier and she is growing on me. Within a couple of hours, the other girl came by to see me once her other regular left. I am always on a budget and by the time she stopped by I was close to my allotted amount. I had about $20 left and she was called to the stage. I usually pay her $25 a dance (and it is worth every penny!) but I did not want to tell her that I spent the majority of my money on other dancers so I told her I would give her a tip. I tipped her my $20 and headed for the exit before the little head would have taken over and stopped by the ATM or had to put it on a Card.
One dancer at a club I believe is trying to become one of my favorites. Last night on a two for one special, I had 3 dancers stop by where I was standing at. The first one who asked I didn't remember, I got rid of her in like 2 seconds. The next girl looks pretty good but I saw this hotter girl still standing around behind her just a little bit. At the risk of her not coming back, which wouldn't bother me unless no hot girls came over, I told her maybe later. She was probably disappointed but that probably only lasted 20 seconds for her. Then the hotter girl came over, about 2 steps away and I said ok. A minute later I saw one guy decided to take the girl I just turned down plus another to do a double two for one dance.
I didn't plan to stay there all night so I didn't want to pass up getting a two for dance from one of the hottest girls in the club. Although the girl I said maybe later to might be one of those as well. I'm not sure why a bunch of hot girls seem to gang up on you one night and then mostly ignore you on other nights.
I was thinking another hot girl in the club got showered with money on stage last night. About a year ago I didn't want to buy multiple dancers drinks even though both were hot. The hot girl on stage who was showered with money was the girl I refused to buy a drink. I think they forget. If not they probably start treating me like one of their friends. I got a dance from her a couple of weeks ago and I've bought her a drink months ago when she stopped by to visit by herself.
One of two dancers whom had not danced for me before told me now that she has danced for me, this could be the start of something. She said she had been working on me. I guess dancers like to talk a bunch of crap sometimes. It will probably mean I'll be asked for dances more often. I wouldn't mind if the real hot girl asked to dance for me again though.
Maybe I should explain why I didn't want to buy multiple dancers drinks. I usually prefer to spend my money on tips, a few drinks for myself and dances. Sitting around buying a bunch of drinks for everyone is not usually not my idea of fun. However for about a year, there was one hot dancer who I had a lot of chemistry with and I would buy her a drink or two and she had hot friends who would occasionally join us especially when the club was slow. I did not want to get into a trend of routinely buying multiple dancers drinks at the same time even if they all looked hot. If I thought it was only going to be once or twice or on occasion, no problem. Doing that every weekend would be expensive.
If she's a ATF-wannabe regular, then there's no easy solution. Simple answer: you gotta be firm, at the risk of breaking it off and causing some drama (depends on the girl). In my case:
1. 90% of the time: write it off as part of doing business. Spend some dough so she's ok for the evening, then tell her you need a break.
2. 5% of the time: she still comes back for more. Time to move on. Few clubs are worth the hassle dealing with overly clingy strippers.
3. 5%: be firm and show your business side. Last resort though cause there's no upshot to showing a stripper who's boss.
Bullwinkle above has it spot on. I have a regular dancer I see and there is 0 jealously...and she always dances for me and hangs with me all night. Love it.
simple: just tell her that you're a slut and that you like to get dances with all types of girls and that you'll come back to her at another time. most of the time this works.
"simple: just tell her that you're a slut and that you like to get dances with all types of girls and that you'll come back to her at another time. most of the time this works"
I'd love to be sitting there watching you say that.
Now that sounds like something that is very cool and very funny, and I'll probably steal it from you and use it in the future...except I can't really figure out what it means...could you explain for us morons? Thanks.
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You could tell her you want to get dances from other dancers on this visit but I *personally* don’ t like to say that b/c often times they may then bring their dancer buddy so you can spend $$$ on her buddy if she can’t make it off of you. I personally don’t like dancers being picked out for me or brought to me b/c it puts me in the awkward situation of having to say no to the dancer being brought to me if I don’t like her – I prefer to pick out my own dancers.
We should not feel obliged to always spend on dancers we know. For the most part they don’t give a shit about us and often times they will approach us as we are there long lost love – but they just want our $$$. Most of them have a man they fuck for free and buy dinner and clothes for w/ our $$$. So don’t feel any allegiance to them b/c they don’t feel any towards you. If you didn’t have any $$$ or told them you didn’t have any $$$ - I’m pretty sure they/she would leave you alone.
Just kidding of course :)
The strip club owner came over to me recently, and said that as a customer, we are always given deference to do what we want. No dancer owns you, and green rules the day. Even though her feelings may be hurt, you've got to do what's best for you.
Usually if I were to approach a customer for a sale and I found that if they say "I'm just going to spread out my money a bit," I understand since they want to try the different variety.
What you could do is buy one from her and then tell her that you'll be spreading the money a bit that night, go make your money, and come back to see me later on.
It's tough because if you say something to her like "I don't have money today" but then she sees you getting dances or paying attention to another girl, she will most likely get mad. But usually the more experienced dancers know that guys often come in to clubs to see the different girls so she might understand. Hopefully.
That's usually what the guys who like to try different girls say. They'll buy one dance from their favorite and the girl is usually alright since she got a bit of money from the customer and that he was up front with her about him wanting to spread his money.
Every single dancer is different, and they change every time they blink. What works right now will get you hurt later tonight. Be careful, hope she goes along, but be prepared for her being your ex regular!
Anyway, my response if I want to try some different dancers is always, "thanks, but I want to try some of the other dancers". Honesty is always my policy. Either that or, "hey, what's her name?" as I point to another dancer. Sometimes that will work to my benefit, and the dancer will say "Oh, her? Want me to call her over?"
Though its guaranteed you'll hurt someone's feelings no matter what you say or do sometimes, but not much you can do about that. Often I've found that if you're the least bit dishonest, the dancers are really good at ferreting out the truth and catching you in a lie, so it's just not worth it. "Yeah, but last time you said..." or whatever....
I think it's respectful to be honest with the dancers. Just like we hate strippers who feed us a line of BS, I think it's wrong to give them a line of crap too.
With one exception...
when they start asking serious questions about me and my work and are you married and all this, all bets are off. None of their business, and the last thing I want to do in a club is get all serious and discuss my private life. So dishonesty is my policy in that case.
I didn't plan to stay there all night so I didn't want to pass up getting a two for dance from one of the hottest girls in the club. Although the girl I said maybe later to might be one of those as well. I'm not sure why a bunch of hot girls seem to gang up on you one night and then mostly ignore you on other nights.
One of two dancers whom had not danced for me before told me now that she has danced for me, this could be the start of something. She said she had been working on me. I guess dancers like to talk a bunch of crap sometimes. It will probably mean I'll be asked for dances more often. I wouldn't mind if the real hot girl asked to dance for me again though.
1. 90% of the time: write it off as part of doing business. Spend some dough so she's ok for the evening, then tell her you need a break.
2. 5% of the time: she still comes back for more. Time to move on. Few clubs are worth the hassle dealing with overly clingy strippers.
3. 5%: be firm and show your business side. Last resort though cause there's no upshot to showing a stripper who's boss.
It’s not hard to get a dancer to dance and hang w/ you all night if you are paying her – that is what they want.
I'd love to be sitting there watching you say that.
Now that sounds like something that is very cool and very funny, and I'll probably steal it from you and use it in the future...except I can't really figure out what it means...could you explain for us morons? Thanks.