tuscl

Study: Men Paying For Sex From Prostitutes Looking For True Love

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Monday, September 3, 2012 9:33 AM
LAS VEGAS – A new analysis of men who pay for sexual activities suggests that their true goal is finding something a bit more complicated – true love – even if it's from the sex worker. In this new study, Christine Milrod and co-author Ronald Weitzer analyzed 2,442 postings on an online discussion board from a sex provider review site where more than a million clients of sex workers read and post about their experiences. Approximately one-third included a discussion about emotional intimacy between sex workers and their clients, many of whom expressed a desire to grow their relationships beyond the physical level in the form of sharing private feelings and mutual love. “In recent years, we have come to see a gradual normalization of independent escort prostitution, where sexual encounters have come to resemble quasi-dating relationships,” stated study author Christine Milrod. “Our study shows that regular clients of a particular sex provider often come to experience feelings of deep affection, which can progress into an authentic love story.” In one survey, 32 percent of customers arrested for soliciting a prostitute said they bought sex because they ‘‘didn't have time'' for a conventional relationship, 28 percent did not want ‘‘the responsibilities'' inherent in such a relationship, and 18 percent said they would ‘‘rather have sex with a prostitute than have a conventional relationship with a woman.'' The study uncovered feelings ranging from “counterfeit intimacy” to “authentic emotional bonds” between many prostitutes and their respective customers. Motives for initial payment for sex ranged from difficulty finding a partner for simple conversation to fantasy role-playing and abuse targeting. However, many of the customers interviewed in the study expressed emotional elements lacking in a pre-existing relationship. Many of the female sex workers interviewed said they catered to the men's emotional needs and described many of them as, “highly respectful” and sometimes “more caring than the other men in their ‘true' personal lives.” One-third of them in the study said they wanted something more than the physical release of “the hobby” as it is called by many sex customers. A Boston man cautioned, “Men in this hobby who think they are only after sex are deceiving themselves. Sex always involves emotion, with the possibility for eventual affection, closeness, and emotional connection always lurking there. People can fall in love when they least expect it. And that love can last, even while one or both parties are married … and even when one is a provider.”

15 comments

  • Dougster
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    12 years ago
    LeeH? Comments?
  • SuperDude
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    12 years ago
    Thanks, Shadowcat. Full text link. An analysis of the PL? A must read. [view link]
  • shadowcat
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    12 years ago
    Thank you, SuperDude. Let the denials begin.
  • georgmicrodong
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    12 years ago
    “In recent years, we have come to see a gradual normalization of independent escort prostitution, where sexual encounters have come to resemble quasi-dating relationships,” I don't that it's a recent phenomenon, though, the Internet just allowed easier discovery. "Pretty Woman" was released before most people even knew there *was* an Internet, and it was by no means the first treatment of the subject. Heinlein portrayed "courtesans" who had to deal with the issue in fiction written in the 60s, and there are examples of both fiction and real life situations from long before that. As for denial, I certainly won't deny that I'm looking for something more than simple release when I go for a full sex encounter, but love? I've got that, and while I'm not one of those silly people who thinks that humans are only capable of loving one person, at least in the "romantic" sense, I personally think that I would be hard pressed to properly provide to more than one myself. I'd either be shorting one, or both, unfairly. It's entirely plausible that people who aren't getting what they need at home with regard to *both* sex and love are in fact looking for it with sex workers. I don't find that farfetched at all.
  • jackslash
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    12 years ago
    "Findings show that there is a spectrum of experiences, ranging from counterfeit intimacy to an authentic emotional bond between the two parties." Wow! They had to do a study to come up with something so obvious?
  • georgmicrodong
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    12 years ago
    @jackslash: It isn't "real" until a study confirms it. To a certain extent, that's even true. After all, until recently, it was "obvious" that the earth was flat.
  • jester214
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    12 years ago
    I'm suspect of anything that claims analyzing forum posts as some kind of evidence.
  • steve3003
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    12 years ago
    Roxanne didn't become a hit single for no fucking reason. And that fuckhead sting keeps crooning to this day.
  • magicrat
    •
    12 years ago
    This just confirms the magicrat's theory of the upside down world of male-female relationships. IMO, men are now looking for emotional fulfillment and women are just looking for sex. I have actually had this conversation with a few strippers that I've gotten to know, and most do agree. The latest was "guys want to cuddle..I just want them to fuck me and leave." Men have become the new women!
  • sharkhunter
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    12 years ago
    "Wow! They had to do a study to come up with something so obvious?" That's what I thought too. Wow, someone got paid to do a study when it's already known some people get attached to dancers without even having sex. I believe a few dancers can get attached to customers as well. When they start crying or getting pissed off for one thing or another, they could be attached.
  • sharkhunter
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    12 years ago
    I wonder if I could get paid thousands of dollars to analyze a strip club forum to determine if some strip club customers develop emotional attachments to dancers? Government grant coming up. I probably would have to do some work though. I could analyze Juice's postings and get quick results, lol. I might even conclude that a large percentage of forum posters have sex with dancers as if it was the norm. Sounds like a plan. I wonder what branch of our government would pay? I got it, the democratic branch that doesn't believe in having a budget, spend, spend, spend. hmmm, maybe I should a study what arouses dancers more 1. a customer dropping large amounts of one dollar bills on her on stage or 2. buying lots of lap dances? I will need a large government grant to get started on that one. I might need a really big grant to give money to you guys and observe forum postings. It could be part of the democratic stimulus spending plan.
  • steve229
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    12 years ago
    "I have actually had this conversation with a few strippers that I've gotten to know, and most do agree. The latest was "guys want to cuddle." So your stripper friends know jack "too old to get it up and so all I did with her was cuddle" slash?
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    Milrod is a sex-therapist with a PhD. and Weitzer is a PhD. sociologist. Apparently, two prety smart characters. But not smart enough to recognize they didn't have to go to the trouble of researching this and writing a paper. For 99 cents and a half hour of their time they could have gone to any used book store and picked up a used copy of the great American novel "Lonesome Dove". This book shows the love men have for postitutes and what they will do. Dish, the young cowboy, joins a 2000 mile cattle drive to follow a whore. Lorena, the local prositute, had an abusive father and married a gambler who pimped her out. Xavier Wantz, the proprietor of the saloon where Lorena worked killed himself over his unrequitted love. And her sugar daddy, Gus, showed strong feelings for her despite being 40 years her senior. This research is new? Pfttt...
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    So you guys have a problem with someone stating the obvious? That happens a lot here, many of you guys state the obvious. Here's more! We all need Love to survive. It can be hard to find.
  • Book Guy
    •
    12 years ago
    I do think the general conclusion is reasonable, that males who interact with prostitutes will value interactions which are not only positive in the physical act, but also positive in the sense of emotional intimacy. But that doesn't mean the men choose to seek out a prostitute with emotional intimacy in mind. I go to McDonald's in order to get a quick lunch. If the McDonald's employee at the counter happens to be really hot looking, I may comment on that fact on a bulletin board of fast food reviews reviews. But frankly, I didn't initially choose to eat at McDonald's rather than Wendy's strictly on the basis of whether the McDonald's staffer was more likely to be hot looking. I wanted the fries.
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