I'll go first.
Last week I met this Mila Kunis look-a-like in a Salt Lake City strip club. She sat on my lap and bought me a couple of drinks. After awhile she asked me if I wanted to go to the VIP room with her. She offered me $500 to fuck her. $1000 if I would do it bare back. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I took her up on the bare back. She was just OK.
The last time I went to Follies in Atlanta, I was chatting with this fine Latina and she looked ill. I asked her why and she said she was with this guy the other day and his dick was so big that it tore her up. I asked her what he looked like and she described shadowcat to a " T "
My Latina ATF, who is a beautiful Salma Hayek look-a-like, loves to have sex with me. She is build like a playboy playmate. With my big dick and her tight pussy, we have had a torrid, passionate, perfect love affair for the last 5 years. We have OTC, ITC, and IOTC too. I have even had sex with her in my BMW.
We have been to Mexico together several times, and she cooks the best tamales I have ever eaten in my life. We seldom have arguments, and we seem to fit together perfectly.
I just found out last week that she is a millionaire, is pregnant by me with her first child, and wants to retire as a dancer. Now she has asked me to marry her.
I need advice from you guys and gals, What should I do????
pay for sex? where they do that at O.o
My turn. My wife has quietly lost about 30 pounds and has been sneaking away to run 5 miles a night or bike 25. While I was watching the big game on my brand new flat screen TV that covers the whole damn wall, she slipped into a hot white teddy and poured me a cold beer. She brought it to me and dropped to her knees and said that she needed to take my mind off the game. She unzipped me and gave me a 20-minute no-holds-barred enthusiastic blowjob. When I warned her that I was going to cum, she stopped and looked me in the eyes and said "I want you to come down my throat so I can swallow it all".
I think I just beat all of your asses.
I can top that Larry. I'm gonna get married again. :)
LMAO, shadowcat
lol, looneylarry
Wives give BBBJ?
I was in the unisex bathroom at Centerfolds in Seattle after a hot lapdance, with Evie who had to go onto stage, Carrington follows me into the bathrrom and asks me if she can hold my chubby the proceeds to hold it while piss then licks me clean into a BBBJ in the bathroom. Truth or fiction or partial. I may elaborate later as to the truth
Larry wins though with a wife giving any BJ after the first 6 months.
I was in Follies for sc's birthday. When he introduced me to a few of his dancer friends, every single one of them said, "He told me a friend of his was coming and I was upset, but you're not vincemichaels."
Oh way, this was suppose to be a whopper!
vm sobs quietly in his corner of the VIP area.
vm,
Don't cry! You know that wasn't true. There is no way they would even remember you! :)
I had sex with Sasha Gray on the last shuttle flight. That was really outta this world.
Inqueer do I know you ??? O.o look about right jessie ?
Several years ago in a little club outside of Wausaw WI right after close. The girl on the stage was looking for extra tips. Yelled out "I just want something to Fuck" The guy next to me set his 1/2 full long neck Bud bottle with a $5 bill laid on the top on the stage yelled back "fuck that". She came over and said "if you drink it after I fuck it I'll do you right here" She then sat down on that bottle and buried it pulled it out and handed it to the guy and he drank it down. She climbed on to his lap and rode him right there while we watched. True story except she grabbed him by the belt and pulled him to the backroom.
Tom Brady texted me and told me he was bored. He was gonna take some time off
He told me I could have his job and fuck his wife.
Tom Brady told me that first !! I told him I'll pass on the job. I don't want to hold onto the center's ass while waiting for the football. :) Giselle, now that's another story !!
My wife made me a sandwich. :/
I like quaterpounders not whoopers !
I fell in love with my Toronto dancer and asked her to marry me. She refused to move out to Alberta so I sold my companies and moved to Toronto, bought her a nice mansion near Casa Loma, furnished the place to her fondest desire, set up accounts for her at Holt Renfrew, summer cabin in Muskoka, anything my beauty wished. I got bored and looked for a job; found my oil patch skills to be useless in the big city; bought a sandwich shop and now spend 16 hours a day making bagels in the AM and subs the rest of the day. I am having a blast with all the sex I could ever want; making about $49 profit each 16 hour day I put in at the shop.
Sweetie will have spent all my dough in about two years. This is so great, why didn't I choose this life style 45 years ago?
Art, what's the address?? I'm hungry. I can be there in 5 hours for lunch. LOL
Back to the topic: I have a tiny dick.
@vm: Hey, that's my line!
Very good SC, but not as good as iniquitous.
I hear your president went into burger king and asked for a couple of whoppers, apparently the guy behing the counter said "you're a great president and the economy has never been better".