Jackpot

There is more than one way to get where you want to go in Vegas. And I’m not talking taxi or monorail here. I’m talking about adult entertainment, with the appropriate big finish. They don’t call Vegas the adult Disneyland for nothing. And I have recently made a new discovery there. Of course, the strip club list is full of reviews, and Vegas is full of strippers, and strip clubs. But while Vegas probably has more hot girls per capital than most other cities, the ebb and flow of its strip club scene hasn’t always produced much more than consistent top-shelf eye candy. I have been going to Vegas, mostly on business, for a while. But there are definitely better cities for clubbing if extras are what you’re after. Most people know that straight-up prostitution, while legal in parts of the state, is not legal in Las Vegas. Of course, legal and available are two different things. But hooking up outside the club, hiring an escort, etc is still very much illegal. And once you negotiate for sexual services, answering one of the ads you’ll see around town for girls, including the ones they are aggressively passing out on the street, becomes illegal too. That brings me to the point of my story, another illegal form of adult entertainment that is readily available in Sin City, hotel hookers. Some time back, a few years before the pandemic, I was in town for a trade show. I was palling around with a buddy from work, so my normal aversion to mixing my mongering with my professional life had my adult activities grounded. We played blackjack for a bit, and wound up in one of the hotel’s bars in the wee hours. As we sat and nursed our beers, we noticed this nice looking girl, dressed up, but alone, approach this guy playing some kind of bar-top machine. They talked for a minute, and she moved on. A bit later, she came back and struck up a conversation with another bar patron. But this time the bartender signaled for hotel security, and after they talked to the girl, we didn’t see her again. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on there. Fast-forward to post-pandemic Vegas, and I had not forgotten about that night at the bar. By myself this time, I came down from my room (different hotel) around 1:00 AM, took a seat at the bar in the middle of the casino, and started playing some sort of video poker. It actually didn’t take long for my little fishing expedition to get a bite. Good thing too. I suck at video poker. She was cute enough, blonde, probably late thirties. She was fit, larger boobs, but not overdone. She was wearing a cocktail dress that was sexy without being gaudy or raunchy. Little cleavage, little hemline riding up when she sat on the stool. On my stripper scale, she was a solid 7. “Having any luck?” She asked. “Not really. Just killing time.” “Waiting on somebody?” “No, just trying to unwind.” “Oh,” she said. “You here on business or pleasure?’ I fought the urge to hit her with the lane, corny line about her business being pleasure, or that it would be a pleasure doing business with her.” “I’m in town for work. Still trying to get my body adjusted to the time.” Then I asked, “What about you?” ‘I’m in town a lot. We have a lot in common. I’m too wound up to sleep now too.” It was all pretty natural stuff, normal stilted small talk. Since she wasn’t playing, I offered to buy her a drink. She eventually fumbled around with wanting to see the rooms in this hotel. She hadn’t been since the remodel. So I came through with the invite. In the elevator she asked if I knew what was going on. I nodded, and she told me she’d need $400 for an hour. I nodded again. I gave it to her when we got to the room and tipped her another $100 when we were done. As I said in the beginning, I got where I wanted to go. It was nice enough, even if it was a little mechanical. Would have been a lot more fun if she’d have kept up the act that I was picking up a hottie at the bar. Word of caution though. The bartender warned me the next night that picking up the working girls was a good way to get robbed. I’m not sure if it is more or less dangerous than some of the other things I have tried. I have only done it a couple of times since. As always YMMV.