30 Years of Strip Joints

7/20/2020 1:24:44 PM

The seeds were planted when I was in 1st grade. There was a strip joint on the boulevard that my school bus would pass every afternoon on the way home. Just the tacky silhouette graphics of women provocatively posing on the painted out windows got my friends and I excited and curious about just what lay beyond the door. We had various plans of how maybe we could stand on each others shoulders in our dad's raincoats to get in, of course, nothing ever came of it. The years passed and the place went out of business before I finished grade school.

Porky's the movie came out a few years later and thanks to VHS home rental video I was able watch it and feed my curiosity of houses of 'ill repute'. The exploits of this gang of horny high schoolers was hilarious and I could relate to those who solely thought with their dicks.

Then, while I was in high school, the international anthem of strip joints was introduced to the world- Motley Crue's "GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS" regaled us with stories of strip joints from around the world. From the Tropicana, Body Shop and Seventh Veil in LA to Thee Dollhouse in Florida to Crazy Horse out in Paris, the song blew my mind with the concept that you could party at strip joints across the globe. When I saw the video on MTV it just made me think- "Damn, I want to do that!"

A couple of years later I ended up near LA and the pilgrimage began. First came the Seventh Veil- it was a big letdown. My college buddies and I crammed into a tiny Honda and drove for miles to Sunset Blvd. The exterior looked exactly as I remembered in the video. But the inside was super tiny, and more importantly- it was not a party scene. The girls were A) not super hot 9-10s, B)not excited to be there and C)super demanding on tips. We all left crestfallen that the reality was not like the music video- also probably because we were A) not Motley Crue and B) just poor college kids. Going to the Body Shop a few years later equally sucked. There was no excitement.

College life was a steady stream of sexual adventure so strip joints didn't really didn't register on the radar until after I was done. By then its seemed like clubs had exploded across the country. Everywhere I looked there was a new club opening. I went on a decadent cross country strip joint trip with a buddy and it was then that I figured it out. The Motley Crue party vibe could only be experienced in topless joints. Why? BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN DRINK! I also found that the clientele was different. The all nude joints attracted nervous, financially tight fisted teenagers and old perverts. That was what made the vibe at the Seventh Veil and the Body Shop suck. The topless places tended to attract people that just wanted to party, and that created the fun hedonistic atmosphere I was seeking. I'll never forget those nights in the nineties partying with girls in Tuscon, Corpus Christie and Austin.

Over the years I've been lucky enough to visit joints all over the USA, Europe and Asia. This long break due to Covid has made me reminisce all of those fantastic memories while I wait for tomorrow's adventures. Maybe I'm never going to grow up, because the thrill of seeing a girl bend over in a thong a foot away from my face still excites me as much as it did thirty years ago.