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Muddy

USA

All your life, you may have wondered how do I reign in these hungry hoes on seekingarrangement.com? How do I bag these begging bitches? Wonder no more, because a master pussy guru guiding light conquerer has just busted through the door. I am here now to rescue you from your mothers basement. Take my hand now as we venture forth, to the world of SA!!!!!! *QUE STARS WARS MUSIC*

I cannot continue without first talking about my experience. I have been a sugar daddy in many avenues, in many a place. Out of my van, on the website Seeking Arrangement....and uh... out of my van. Here we will focus strictly on the app/website side of the house. Lets kick it.

BUILDING A PROFILE

First things first we got to build you. How are we going to make a first impression.
First things the broads are gonna see. Username, Age, Gender, Location and Tagline and Profile Pic.

Username- Go with something simple and humble yet glorious and overbearing, My username is DADDYMASTERMAKEITRAIN, others to think about LORDOFALLBITCHESANDHOES, CAPTAINBIGDICK and GODOFHAIRYVAGINAS. Whatever you choose all caps is a must.

Age-You will be 97 no matter what you look like or your actual age. 97. This gives the impression that just no matter how you feel about the situation, your in it for the short term whether you like it or not. Your lifespan just about long enough to remove the money from you wallet and not much beyond that. Girls like this.

Gender-Male has been a safe bet here for some number of years now. But Democrats may have a say otherwise in the future. TBD.

Location-"I've been gay in London, Paris, Berlin, New York, LA," This is something flaming homosexual fashion designers keep saying. You will say the same just replace "gay" with "completely straight"

Tagline-Your tagline will be "insult" followed by "command" or "command" followed by "insult"
Lets give it a go shall we. "Bitch. You bout to be mine" "Ima tear that ass up, Ho" See how that goes. Lets practice now. Say it together now. Good. 40 times a night before going to sleep.

Profile Picture- We can't forget to have the look too. You will have two options. Dog or Cat. Hold one. That is it. One or the other. You just cross your fingers your lovely lady is your respective animal type. This is my profile pic.

https://images.app.goo.gl/UeniccNZHBCf36…

I have thing for cat ladies (oh fuck yeah 30 cats in the kitchen, my dick is so hard right now) And no its not me in the picture but nobody gives a fuck. We have the same jeans. Close enough. The bigger the cat the better. Meow. I then drown them in cat emojis for the full effect. It's literally no fail.

If your going dog, do sexy+dog. Here's my profile pic I'll throw up if they happen to write "must love dogs"

https://images.app.goo.gl/VYM9A8mYaZ8wzv…

Who says no to that dog, and if they do, who says no to that hair. Nobody.

Occupation-Scientific studies and surveys have been done and the highest positive feedback has been from 4 options: thug, drug dealer, aspiring rapper and steaming pile of shit. You will pick one of them. It's not even coming from me. Science. Any job or profession that would require any sense of integrity, responsibility and high work ethic is going to be huge no go here. So don't do it. Nobody cares your a rocket scientist from NASA except your mommie.

Net Worth and Income-HAHA by far the least important thing but you will max it to over 100 million net worth and over 1 million income so help you God. Failure to follow this advice may lead to absolutely no responses whatsoever. *Ahem* Uhhh a friend of friend whose uncle knows a guy that hinted at this possibility from most certainly his experience and not mine whatsoever.

Description of you- THE SUPREME RULER OF THE UNIVERSE (This demonstrates you have high value in yourself write it word for word)

What you are seeking- A SLAVE!!!! NOW BOW TO ME AND GET TO WORK HEATHEN!!!! (The girls love a man who knows what he wants. again word for word)

Height-7 feet will be listed no matter your height. Yao Ming got all the bitches, right? Can we get a fact check on that. Wear stilts if you have too.

Now is the part where you can really make or break it. The dialogue. Where the rubber meets the road. Check out a transcript of a recent conversation that I feel was the most successful in my career. Top notch skill in action. Watch the master at work.

Me-Gee well hiya there Melissa! (a ruse to come off like a decent human being)

Melissa-heyyy

Me- I'm just gonna give it to you straight. I want you now. 50 bucks. (Direct and sure of myself)

Melissa-Ew no

Me- $100

Melissa- No

Me- $200

Melissa- Yeah I think we are too far apart, I just don't think we are a match

Me- $400

*seconds go by no answer*

Me- $500

*minutes go by no answer*

Me-$600

*hour goes by no answer*

Me- Look I haven't jerked off in couple days oh please for the love of God can we hang out? I'll do $900.

Melissa- I'll think about it.

SUCCESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Saved the grips of rejection. And I can save you too, just subscribe to my coaching camp for the unbelievably low price of $800 a month. I provide more of the above in detailed video coaching sessions where you learn face to face the fundamentals from a professional pimp, er I mean Daddy like myself. I'm sort of like the Cal Ripken Jr of pussy hunting.

(Please subscribe, have mercy I am in massive debt due to my ventures on this website. I'll do anything. AND I MEAN ANYTHING!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

CALL NOW!