Making the Trip to Tijuana

I have reviewed many of the clubs down in Tijuana numerous times, The Hong Kong Club and Adelita's bar being the 2 places I frequent the most. I don't often go to clubs in my home town as I live in Las Vegas and the clubs here are well known to fleece a man of all his cash and leave him with nothing but unfulfilled fantasies. I have written several reviews of my experiences and have received messages from other members asking questions about my experiences and of the clubs in general, I have also read the discussion boards filled with trolls and people spouting unfounded stereotypical fears about the area and people. So I have decided to write this article to inform as well as put some fears to rest. I have broken the article into sections for an easier read. LODGINGS Unless you live in the San Diego area, you are most likely going to need a place to stay before and/or after your visit to the clubs. I usually make a weekend of it (my days off are Wed-Thurs) I don't know what the extended stay rooms (i.e. overnight) cost or even look like down in Zone Norte and unless you are fluent in Spanish and know the area well I don't recommend staying there over night. Tijuana has a few upscale hotels but I have never stayed in them. There are numerous motels on the US side near the border but the closer you get the dirtier they seem to become. My recommendation is the Best Western Americana Inn; it's fairly inexpensive, clean, and in a slightly better area being only 3 miles from the border. There are several food joints nearby if like me you are not too big on the local cuisine down in Mexico. They also have excellent WiFi in the rooms. PARKING Driving into Tijuana is not advised, the streets are not very well maintained, are extremely confusing, filled with aggressive cab drivers, and there is almost always a ridiculously long line to get back into the US. So it would be best if you parked on the US side and walked across. The lot I recommend is on San Ysidro Blvd right behind the Jack in the Box. The cost is $7 for 8 hours; the lot is fairly well lit and monitored by security. There is another lot across the highway behind the Duty Free store but it is $10 over there and you have to walk a lot further. From the lot you head down to the stores and just follow the rest of the people as they walk towards the 2 revolving steel gates leading into Mexico. BE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR PASSPORT, you can get back without it if you have a valid US. ID but it is a hassle you don't want to go through. You will have to pass through a guard station but you only need to stop if you are carrying a lot of goods into the country. Just continue down the stairs to the walkway, from here you can gauge how long the wait will be to cross the border. There may be 2 lines; the one on the right is for people needing permits and the one on the left is for general passes (Passports, Green cards, etc.) Just take a left and head for the walk way, there will be signs for taxis, just go up the ramp and over the highway, on the other side the will be a sea of cabs. The cab ride should only cost between 5-7 dollars and will take about five min to get to the clubs. NOTE: You do not have to exchange your money as the cab drivers, clubs, and most businesses will readily accept US currency. AREA AROUND THE CLUBS The Cab will drop you off on the main street in front of the clubs. From there you can choose between Adelita's, Las Chavelas, Hong Kong, or Bar Tropico across the street. The street directly behind these clubs is much like down town Las Vegas minus the overhead light show, it is a brightly lit street with bars and shops on both sides. Later at night there will be a lot of prostitutes out and you might be able to get a better deal than with a girl in one of the clubs. There is also a Police station right in the middle of the block and for all the talk of how corrupt the police may or may not be, their job is to keep the peace and people safe, especially the tourists because if the tourists don't feel safe they will stop coming and spending money. Unless you are trying to start something, score illegal drugs, or making a total ass of yourself the police will not hassle you. For safety reasons I would stick to the immediate area unless you speak Spanish or have a local guide. THE LANGUAGE BARRIER One question I get asked a lot is how well can you get by down there if you don't know Spanish. I was apprehensive of this at first myself as I know very little Spanish, two years of high school Spanish taught me exactly squat. I found that the cabbies, wait staff, and most of the dancers do understand some English, so even if you can't speak a word of Spanish, you can still have a great time down there. THE GIRLS Like any good strip club there a lot of girls to choose from, however you are in Mexico so if you don't care for Latino girls you are SOL. You can find other types of girls on the weekends but they are few and far between. Most of the girls' rate between 5-7 with no implants and that have that girl next door look, some of them have a lot more junk in the truck than I care for. There are few stunners but not to the extent of some of the high end clubs in the US. THE CLUBS The clubs may or may not charge you a cover fee depending on the day and time but do expect a brief pat down from the staff at the door. It is open seating at most of the clubs but expect to be hit up by the wait staff on where you want to sit as well as your first drink order. Although there is no rule against not having a drink at all times you will be constantly asked by numerous waiters if you want a drink if the see you without one. I would recommend tipping the first waiter to bring your drinks $10 or more, by doing this he will inform the other wait staff not to bother you and make sure you are well taken care of. If you are looking for a particular girl they will find her and bring her to you as well as get you change, food, act as a translator, or accommodate most any other request you ask of them. By continually tipping them they will remember you and bend over backwards to keep you happy. At the Hong Kong Club there are always shows going on, the 2 main stages always have a dancer performing on them with very little down time between shows, unless they are preparing/cleaning the stage for the shaving cream show. Around the club there will be numerous girls go-go dancing on different platforms and dozens more just standing around waiting to be approached by guests. The girls will not approach you unless you ask them or a waiter brings one by. The one show that is not to be missed is the Hong Kong Club's famous “Shaving Cream Show”. They run this show once every 2-3 hours and it is performed on the back stage of the club with 2 girls. Mileage is extremely high down here and unlike the strip clubs in the US, touching the girls on stage will not get you thrown out, in fact if you tip the girls they will let you cop a' feel of their breasts, ass, or even their pussies during their performances. During the shaving cream show you can finger bang the girls on stage and I have seen others go as far as lick the girl's pussy. This is not only ok but encouraged by the staff as they are right behind you with a camera to capture the moment and then sell you the picture as well as a towel to clean up after. During the shaving cream show the staff may offer you (for a small fee) toys to use on the girls ranging from a dildo on a stick to a mini baseball bat. As long as you are courteous, gentle, and most of all tipping you will be able to get away with a lot more down in Tijuana then you will anywhere else. A lot of people that I have talked to say that the VIP lap dance rooms are a rip, why pay $21 for a 5 min nude lap dance when for just a bit more you can fuck the girl next door. To me the VIP lap dance rooms are a great way to test out a girl that you haven't seen perform on stage, as all the girls will fuck at the hotel but some of them will go further. Some will only do a basic fuck, others will charge more if you want to do something extra, and some will go all out for no extra charge. The VIP lap dance rooms are a great place to find out what the girl will or won't do. THE HOTEL Probably the biggest reason people come down to the clubs in Tijuana is that prostitution is legal down there. Places like Adelita's are merely brothels were you go in and pick out a girl to take next door, where in the Hong Kong Club you get to see the girls on stage or in a VIP room first. Once you find a girl you like you head next door to the Hotel. Prices of the girls will vary depending on where you picked them up, Hong Kong girls run $80, Adelita's are $60, and the girls on the street are negotiable. The Hotel itself will cost $16 for 30 min; the clerk will give you a condom and a room number. The rooms contain a large bed, shower stall, sink, and a bathroom. They only run the AC in the rooms during the summer months so if you go during the fall the room may be very warm, also there is no hot water so the shower will be cold which can feel really good after a session in a hot room. Unless the sheets were really messed up, I doubt they change them after every session, so it's best not to think about it. The rooms have this red lighting installed that tends to cover up the body's imperfections which is great for those of us that have less than perfect bodies. There is also a small TV that streams old pornos if you need some inspiration. On your way out be sure to tip the cleanup person a few bucks. Over all I have never had a bad experience down in Tijuana, if you behave the police will have no reason to hassle you, and if you are tipping the wait staff and girls will see your desires met and if you are like me you will start planning your next trip down on the Taxi ride back to the border.