Chile: No Strip Clubs, but Enjoyable Alternatives

<p> Chile is a unique place in that it does not have strip clubs as we know them. Instead, there are three types of establishments you need to get to know.<br /> <br /> <strong>Caf&eacute; con Piernas</strong><br /> <br /> &ldquo;Coffee with Legs&rdquo; is a phenomenon that exists only in Chile. These are coffee shops, open typically from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm in the central business district. They offer great espresso for $2.00 per demi-tasse. There is no seating. There is no upselling. The coffee is served by waitresses in skimpy attire. The waitress greets you with a kiss on each cheek. The busy hours are early in the day, and the clientele are generally gents in business suits. There are several gradations of these coffee shops. There are street-level shops with large windows and waitresses in mini-skirt suits. But then, in those mini-malls buried inside large buildings, the basement level or the mezzanine level will have coffee shops with blacked-out windows, dim lighting and loud music. The waitresses wear bikinis, thongs, slingshots, you name it. The best example I have tried in Santiago is on the north side of O&rsquo;Higgins, entrance between Ahumada and Estado. Go downstairs for a half dozen eye-popping Caf&eacute;s con Piernas.<br /> <br /> One frustrating aspect is that little English is spoken, and what the waitresses do (aside from looking fabulous) is chat. Oh, well. It is mind-blowing that all this goes on just one story below the pedestrian mall of a major business/shopping district.<br /> <br /> In Santiago, as best I can determine, there are no &ldquo;extras,&rdquo; and no back rooms. There is nothing to up-sell. You drink coffee and flirt. In Vi&ntilde;a del Mar, I found things to be slightly different. From Valparaiso Street, turn north on Quinta and park. There are a couple of cafes in the indoor mall at Valparaiso 515. There is seating. Also, the waitress offered to strip for $20. For this there is a small cubicle. Good mileage, sucking breasts, but she wasn&rsquo;t selling extended-play.<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong>Night Club</strong><br /> <br /> It is hard to figure these places out at first. They are not a place to while away the evening. They are a place to find your &ldquo;date&rdquo; for the evening. There is a high cover charge to get in. When approached by a lady, if you want to get to know her, you buy her an expensive drink. (If you don&rsquo;t buy her a drink, she will be disappointed, as you have rejected her.) Depending on how much familiarization you need, you and your date leave for more private quarters. Things get even more expensive after that. By the way, if you are staying in a reputable hotel, they will permit you to bring in your date, but they will up your rate to &quot;double-occupancy.&quot;<br /> <br /> Lack of English is normal and problematic.<br /> <br /> <strong>Apartment with Girls</strong><br /> <br /> These establishments are apparently not very legal. They have no sign; the address may be divined only by interpolating between the adjacent doors. But apparently they are condoned. To get to one, you need only ask a cab driver. The door is tended like that of a speak-easy. Once inside, you&rsquo;ll find it is a fairly standard brothel. Each lady comes in to show her wares (bikini or lingerie) and tell you her name. After you have seen the troupe, you select one and go upstairs. You are required to take a shower and then report to the designated bedroom. Typically, they are very health-conscious and you will practice safe sex. Expect to pay around $150.<br /> <br /> Lack of English is also a problem here, but occasionally, you will find a lady you can talk to.</p>