Who's in charge during a lap dance

The dancer is in control. She is limited by her personal standards and what the club will allow. I have never asked a dancer if I can suck her nipples. I have never grabbed a dancer by the waist and "positioned" her pussy on my dick. If they are into you they will go there without yo asking. My first dance with one of my ATF's started out slow and sensual, but with no grinding. I barely touched her. Later, after we built a relationship we both came alot.

I've never been as forthright to ask a-priori, as it were, whether I may suck their nipples. I do however, make it a point to observe other lap dances going on, and often have felt free to politely venture hands and occasionally lips to where I want them, usually with success.<br />
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Regarding the bouncing thing, yes it wrecks an otherwise good grind. Unless I'm at a strictly hands-at-your-side place (e.g., in NYC/Manhattan, surprisingly) I often grab ahold of the woman's hips and gently place her where I want her and then slow her grinding down and move her hips to a pleasurable vibe. And if I'm sans underwear and my dick is in the down position, I'll ask her if I can &quot;adjust&quot; myself, and then gently hold her up a couple inches away from my crotch as I quickly reach inside and position Mr. Happy skyward before placing her back down, so I can enjoy the fullness of her crevasse while she grinds.<br />
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All that being said, there's still that intangible quality where some girls just can't seem to hit the groove satisfactorily on lap dances, while others get me where I'm going every time.&nbsp; You can only instruct so much, and beyond that, it's a beautiful mystery.<input type="hidden" id="gwProxy"><!--Session data--></input><input type="hidden" id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" />
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Rod8432 and PAbloantonio responded with two completely different styles. Pablo says 'if they are into you they will go there without yo asking.&quot;&nbsp; Well Pablo, what if they are not into you? To be real, in Fort Myers touching is allowed, and many of these girls have a drug habit, are supporting a loser boyfriend or have been rubbing dicks for so many years that they now can only get off on other girls. That's the reality of it. To think that you're some macho hunk who a stripper is immediately 'into' is mental masturbation. You're the customer, so asking what the rules are and how far a girl will go to earn her money is a fair question. Too bad there's no touching in NYC for Rod8432. Get your ass down to Tootsie's in Miami, the real thing any way you want it for $200 for 1/2 hour.

In many clubs, if you start grabbing the dancer to position her where you want her, you'll wind up with what will feel like the worlds longest air dance.<br type="_moz" />

You can pretty much figure out the &quot;rules&quot; in any club by watching and using one's prior experiences.&nbsp; As far as asking the dancer about what I can do?&nbsp; No way.&nbsp; The whole idea of going beyond the rules is to make the dancer want to.&nbsp; If she says no to nipple sucking then when you try you break the rules and you're done.&nbsp; Its really no different than picking up a stranger in a bar and then proceeding along the &quot;steps&quot; until you reach the top or your journey ends and you start over with a new one.

Both patron and dancer! I take control too. <br type="_moz" />

i let the dancer control the lap/table dance as she knows the club rules. however, if i am going to spend the $$$ for VIP i always ask up front and in plain language what is on the menu. don;t want to spend big bucks and get only an air dance or ass rub. VIP must include titty play, nipple sucking, ass massage and kitty play .

I'd say if you try to "restrain" the dancer in any way, she's got the right to kick you in the balls or call the bouncer to break your hold on her. If she understands that you're just trying to non-verbally make a suggestion, it would maybe be OK. But the fact that you're using the phrase "in charge" implies something beyond a suggestion. If you hooked up with a girl, and tried to force her to do things she didn't want to, that would be rape. It might be hard to prosecute, but in reality, it would be rape. Ethically and probably legally, it makes no difference that you paid her for a "lap dance" (whatever exactly that means). I suppose you could maybe sue her for breach of contract, but you can't restrain her physically.

If you go to a burger joint, and feel like they skimped on the fries, you don't walk around the counter and grab a handful of fries (or do you?). You either simply don't go back, or you complain, and if they don't make it right to your satisfaction, you don't go back.

I can see this is a problem for guys who travel and rarely get a dance from the same dancer twice. Rather than "controling" the dancer, it might be better to tell a white lie. Say something like "I just moved here, I love this club, I'm going to be here every week. I knew a some great dancers back in xyz, they were incredible, I use to get 10 dances in a row from them." You get the idea.

Many dancers will tell you they'll do whatever you ask, and just not do it if they don't want to. I wouldn't count on the bouncers or managers to take your side if you get into a dispute with a dancer about this.

Bottom line, like any other service, the best way to be happy is to find the providers you like and keep going back to them, if possible.

There is nothing wrong with asking a stripper what is on the menu, especially for VIP. This is part of the negotiation process and you are free to accept or decline her services. Each stripper is different with her boundries.

I'm in control.. but if you want something special you need to ask me before.. and tell me how many songs... If you dont you are obligated to pay me for every song I dance for you...