The Fifth Alarm has all new...

The Fifth Alarm has all new rules, just like most other clubs (commonly owned) in Springfield. The heat must be on, because lappers are now bouncer-monitored air dances.

Due to this new puritanical approach to biz, the number of customers is dwindling and - in turn - the number of dancers. The Fifth Alarm, for the time being, is a pretty lame excuse for a strip joint.

I visited on a Thursday night, there were about eight dancers. Nothing special, nothing brutal. They were showing their pussies for a buck or two and complaining about how the new rules have brought the income stream to a grind.