The last time I visited Carnaval...

The last time I visited Carnaval was about two years ago, and the place was awful. Cold, empty, featuring ugly girls. Its only redeeming feature was that it was open after 2:30. So imagine my surprise when, on my recent trip to Portland, we swung by at, you guessed it, 2:30 a.m. to find out that, hey, suddenly there were at least a dozen girls and they were all young and mostly hot. Sure, it still serves the 18+ crowd, so there's no booze and plenty of college-aged meatheads. But that's mitigated by the fact that the girls are, as I said, young and gorgeous, performing two-girl shows after 3:00 a.m., and that the place is open until 4 a.m. The dances work like this—topless for $10, , private and nude for $40, and then you can get a private room for $80 and up. Opt for that, the girl will take off her clothes, you can take off yours, and everyone gets happy. I opted for a $20 nude, from a hot, tattooed, pierced girl named Emory, and though she gave a great dance, I might have done the two for $20 topless instead, just for value. One of my buddies opted for the $80 for 15 minutes of happy time, and he said it was well worth it. Sure, I wish you could get a drink there, but I'm thrilled that there's a decent place to go after the other bars close. It was like going from worst to first. Nice.