I'm combining several past visits into...

I'm combining several past visits into this one review, so the numbers and stats that I've posted via the drop-down menus in the review-entry fields are my own subjective averages of all those experiences combined. --- Generally I'd have to say that Visions is the "best" club in New Orleans, but it all depends on what you're comparing to. If you're familiar with Tampa, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Toronto, then you'll probably be rather disappointed with the quality of the girls here, and you'll also probably be disappointed in both the level of contact available and the level of knowledge/skill of the girls (in making you want to buy what they're selling, whatever that might be, from high-service to low-service but high-inter-personality; in making you FEEL like you are loving your experience because they are giving you what you want, whatever that might be). The girls here are just gals who work at this one club, probably have not ever traveled elsewhere to find more clubbing opportunities, or, if they have, then have only gone as far as the French Quarter or Baton Rouge. Many girls gravitate to Visions because it's the most low-key, low-stress place for them to work, relative to the French Quarter clubs in New Orleans, where there are just too many tourists and conventioneers (who, surprisingly, often want to pay very LITTLE in terms of the adult-entertainment dollar) and too much hassle (parking; hours; dirt; non-adult-business tourists; etc.). So, relative to the other offerings in NOLa, this is a great place to go, and it's essentially become the only place that I go, except when I drop in on some other NOLa club just to make sure it's still as cruddy (relative to Visions) as it was last time I went there. Haven't been pleasantly surprised by any of the clubs other than Visions lately ... I have gotten to getting private dances from several of the girls who would not necessarily by my first choice, as far as physical appearance goes, and I've found that generally it really is a good experience. Not excellent, however. The younger girls do way too much of radically rapid bump-and-grind, and stand-off-and-pose positions (ooh lookie the girl has tits -- dangit I could have seen that FOR FREE while she was on stage, posing isn't "private dancing!). The larger girls weigh too much -- sure, they're firm and curvaceous, but it just plain ol' HURTS when they put their whole 150-pound weight on my crotch. The drinks are a little over-priced, but not bad, and many girls will sit with you and hang out for long periods of time, especially if you make it clear that you "need" them to do that in order to get warmed up for lappers. Many of them simply do very very few lappers and view their work experience at Visions as, mostly, sitting at the bars and chatting / fondling / snuggling with customers, which I enjoy a lot. When their time comes to do the stage rounds (see previous reviews re: weird bar-top cycle of requirements for dancers and tipping requirements for patrons) they'll get their one-dollar tips. Then a few private dances at a time later in the evening when everyone is drunk, will cap off their evening. There are also a few smoking-hot shot girls, and don't hesitate to ask them for private dances, they're just as good as the regular dancers at giving contact lappers. So, really, the only difference between shot-girls and stage-dancers is, that the former get drunker (from drinking their own shots) and don't go on stage. You can get high-mileage (for New Orleans) but I haven't been able to confirm that you can actually get full (or near-to-full) service here. It's just high-contact lappers. Best place in New Orleans ... but that isn't necessarily saying that much. Be sure to tip the parking lot / door attendants, and the bar keepers, they really are exceptionally attentive. Oh, and there's a danged bathroom monkey, a dude with an attitude, who thinks he's being conversational and witty but his English isn't good enough to crack jokes, so it's very very annoying that he throws towels at you and demands tips even when you don't want to pay for them. I hate bathroom monkeys, here as much as anywhere else. If he had high-class stuff, and sold condoms and mints and gum, then MAYBE I'd be happy to have him around, but as it is, all he has is some Dial anti-bacterial soap. Weak.