I was in Ohio for a...

I was in Ohio for a few days, in the middle of nowhere, and I decided to go to a strip club but was concerned that there might not be so many girls, in view of the sparseness of population in the area. A friend assured me, they'd be a "ton of girls" at the nearest club, Club Rog. So, on a Saturday evening, I put in the effort to find this place, on the far eastern edge of Fremont.

On arriving, my first glimpse inside Club Rog was of the fattest stripper I've ever seen, about 225 pounds. My second glimpse made the previous sentence obsolete; it was of the new fattest stripper I've ever seen, about 275 pounds. I managed to somehow look past these behemoths to see the stage, which was empty. So I asked the bartender if any girls would be dancing on the stage. But before the bartender had a chance to answer, one of the behemoths said, "We dance on YOU." Just then the solid steel bar stool beneath her let out an agonizing creak from the strain of its massive load. I couldn't help but imagine my considerably-less-than-solid-steel member under the strain of this woman dancing on it.

But my evening improved significantly when three other girls emerged from the woodwork, two of whom, Jade and Teeny, were quite beautiful. Teeny, five feet tall and less than 100 pounds, I should add, was particularly appealing. She also had quite an exotic appearance, with multiple piercings, black make-up, and a goth look (but without the depression), which was fun. Both did nice stage dances, but the buzz was immediately killed when the stage creaked and sagged under the weight of the other two aforementioned chubbies (and a part of me started to sag badly as well). The club just wasn't large enough to find a seat far enough from the stage during these "dances." It was clear that the only hope for a nice evening would be private dances from Jade and Teeny. Which they were more than happy to provide, and the club nicely offered numerous two-for-one private dance offers to help. Contact was one-way, but constant, and Teeny was especially good. So, despite my first (and second) impression, I had a nice time at Club Rog.