Unless she's that good. Or the blonde is.

When guys would say they jerked themselves off in a strip club, I didn't get it. We'll come back to that.

This was a regular Saturday night at Playhouse. Cover is $15, up $5 from the rest of the week. That buys you water or a soft drink. No beer here (unless you bring your own). Taking a seat at the large rectangular bar also earns you the right to tip continuously. Many of the girls are generous in return for your $1, $2 or more. She'll push tits and ass right into your whatever. Then she'll check your crotch to gauge whether you liked it. If you liked it a lot, she can take you to one of the many private rooms where the dances are $30 for four minutes. There zippers are often tested and wipes are available for clean up when they are.

There was a clear line of demarcation this night. When I first arrived around 8 pm, the line-up looked almost as if I'd arrived at 3 pm. If you've been here, you know what I mean. These might not have been the day girls exactly, but they looked the same. Few were under 140 lbs. Few were under 40 years old. Lots of implants in chest, rear or both.