Extras Machine, Plastic Nation

A group of friends and I had a Miami weekend planned and near the top of our list was a visit to Tootsies, we made it happen on prime Saturday night. We got in pretty late and there was still space in VIP so we paid the extra fee and headed upstairs. There were about 40 girls upstairs and another 50 or so downstairs or on stage. Most of the better looking ones were upstairs. Our group was swarmed by a group of cubans which I'd rate as an 8/9, with obvious enhancements upstairs and downstairs. My hand was immediately grabbed by one of them and placed on a rock hard fake ass, a big turn off for me but a recurring theme for Miami and Tootsies. Lesson 1: if BBLs and silicone turns you off, this place is not for you.

After a couple minutes of a difficult conversation (I didn't know Spanish well and she didn't know English well), she offered me "400 for everything." I was curious what everything meant so I asked and ended up reading it on a translation app on her phone. Lesson 2: If you are not into extras, this place is not for you.

About an hour and a few high mileage lap dances later, I was approached by a prime Megan Fox look a like who spoke perfect English and offered a tour of the place. I accepted and she took me to the nicest private room in the building and said that we can stay there for a half hour and have a lot of fun, later described in a lot of detail. I was tempted, but the 500 price tag did not fit the bill. Lesson 3: If you are an amateur SCer and can easily be tempted for overpriced services, this place is not for you.