All the excitement of a mayonnaise sandwich

Golden Banana is on US 1, but you may miss it because they hid it behind a Gulf station. There's plenty of parking. When I got there around 6:30 on a Tuesday night, three of the spaces were occupied. Ten dollars and a strangely thorough examination of your license gets you in the front door. Another ten gets you a Coke.

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Compared with the dives I usually review, the main room is almost upscale, with good lighting, spotless restrooms, and anodyne furniture. Actually, a lot of furniture; it's hard to get around, even if you're sober. There are about 20 seats around the T-shaped stage, all of them vacant when I got there.

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I think there were five dancers on the roster, of whom I actually saw three. All white, trim, late twenties, and 6s or 7s. (All those adjectives were approximate. There might have been one marginal exception to each.). The first dancer I saw on stage was performing to no one. I sat down and put a couple of dollars on the rail, but she continued performing to no one for a minute or two. She eventually came over, took my money, and went back to mid-stage. Eventually another customer sat down, and she spent the rest of the three-song set conversing with him.