No touching, Monopoly money, Overpriced Dances, Do Not Recommend

I was traveling for work this week and found myself in the western suburbs of Chicago. The nearest club to my hotel was Blackjack's, so I read the reviews and considered whether to go there. A major red flag was that probably 9 of the last 10 reviews had mongers saying they spent $300 to $500 there, and for what seemed to be a non-extras club, I was not interested in patronizing that kind of place.

Well, the dick had a mind of his own, so I ventured out anyway. The club felt like it was in the middle of a farmer's field, which it basically is (I just double checked the Google satellite view to see if I was crazy - I remember driving down a LOT of rural roads to get there). The parking lot was large and felt safe, so I headed inside.

You're greeted inside by a bouncer-type guy wearing a blazer to collect your cover. This was only the beginning of the faux-class vibe that this place tried to show. TUSCL said that the cover was $10 (I think it varies by time of day), but it was a staggering $23, which included two non-alcoholic drink coupons that looked suspiciously like PTA raffle tickets. Change was paid in real dollar bills at least. I gave this guy $2 in ones just because I'm a nice guy.