Monday Lunch Break - no lunch but no regrets

Work brings me to Vancouver pretty often, but I've never had a chance to visit No. 5 Orange until this week. I stopped in on my lunch break since I had heard from other reviews about their 12-1 lunch hour stage show and wanted to see for myself. I arrived at 11:45 and walked into a completely empty, quiet club - no customers, no dancers, no deejay, just one bartender washing glasses behind the bar at the far back. I tried to order lunch, and was told that the cook was running late, and to try again in 15 minutes, so instead I just ordered a beer for $8.50 and sat down at a table. The stage is right in the middle of the room, with seats at the rail all around. I was nursing my beer and starting to think this had been a terrible mistake, when at exactly 11:55, men started flooding into the bar - all the seats at the rail were instantly filled, with a few more sitting at the closer tables. A waitress appeared and started taking drink orders - I asked about lunch and she said the cook still hadn't showed up.

Just after twelve, the sound system kicked in, and the show took off. For the next hour, five dancers came up one after another, doing three dances each. Most of my experience at strip clubs is in Toronto, where the stage shows are practically non-existent - once an hour, you'll have someone come out and half-heartedly swing around a pole for a song or two, while the floor is filled with dancers trying to get you to come back to the VIP. This place was the complete opposite - the stage show was the main event, and there was no shortage of enthusiasm. All five dancers were very attractive, 8-10 range, early to mid 20s, white, similar tall and athletic body types - they chatted with the men at the rail while they danced, and then most of them disappeared as soon as their dances were finished. I noticed one of the men at the rail managed to stall one dancer on her way off stage and they headed upstairs together, so clearly VIP dances were available, but if you wanted them you really had to go out of your way to get them - very different from Toronto where girls are practically dragging you to the back as soon as you walk in the club. At about 12:45 the waitress finally came back and told me the cook had arrived if I still wanted lunch, but by that time I wasn't really optimistic I could eat and get back to work on time, so instead I just had a second beer. Just after 1 pm, the last dancer finished up to much applause, gathered up all the five dollar bills on the stage, and disappeared, and as soon as she left, the place emptied, and once again it was just me and the bartender in an empty, silent club.

I can't speak to what this club is like on evenings and weekends, but the lunch hour is well worth a visit if you just want to see a great stage show and aren't interested in anything more. If you get a spot at the rail, tip generously and manage to catch a dancer's attention on her way off stage, I'm sure there's a lot of fun available at the VIP, but just having a couple beers and seeing five gorgeous women dance completely naked for an hour was a great way to spend my lunch break - my only regret was that I didn't actually get any lunch, and going back to work with nothing but two beers in my stomach wasn't the best plan. I am sure I will be back at No 5 Orange for another lunch hour when I'm back in Vancouver, but next time I will get a seat at the rail and eat lunch before I get there.