Strip clubs are like casinos. You can leave satisfied with a full pocket or broke while getting less than you would if you had never stepped foot in there to begin with. You need to know how to play the game, and to play the game you have to be a veteran. Yes, a veteran. Even I, as streetwise as I am, had to lose a few times to play the game the way it should be played. So here's the deal: ninety-five-probably more like ninety-nine percent-of these these strippers are here to scam you. Shove some tits in your face in the LDA, do the bare minimum at inflated prices. It doesn't have to be this way though. All you have to do is follow my way. Come forth, naive simp, and find a way to achieve the most bang-for-your buck, the way that I have through the painful process of experience.
Step 1: choose the right club. It was a Saturday. Early September. Almost two weeks ago to be exact. I had some time to burn...and some cash. Now I could have went to any strip club in town, but I didn't. Why? Because out of the many SCs you will find in our venerable Emerald city (I still to this day do not know why the fuck it has that nickname), only a few are worth your very hard-earned free time and money. Now the very best of these clubs is Pandoras Adult Cabaret. Why? Not because it's 'the best.' It's the best precisely because it's not. Sound counterintuitive? It's not. It's about the TALENT, i.e., who the women ARE, not the club. And that fine establishment of Lake City fucking Way offers the best talent in town. Not the best looking talent by all means...well, as far as the mornings and afternoons are concerned. Far from it. In fact, they are the best precisely because they aren't the hottest.
Have you ever been in a LDA? If you're reading this, you probably have. Who gave you the best dance? The south of forty milf or the aspiring social media thot? Probably the former. These twenty-somethings might be good to look at...through the lens of pixels. Actually want a quality experience with a real stripper? Here's some advice: go for that milf.
I walked in. It was noon. Dead club. Usual for the Seattle SC scene at this time...or any SC scene. No girls on stage. A couple of strippers roaming for prey...if they weren't too busy posting overpriced pics to social media for the coomer simps. Twenty. Maybe twenty-one. Maybe twenty-two. They might be decent wife material if they weren't complete thots. I mean, theoretically, this is who you should have your progeny with strictly in the biological sense, but in the SC the patrons aren't playing by the rules of the natural world. The cost of modern society...it's the SC fellas. The point is that I knew the type. They upsell you the LDA. Maybe they lose the bra. Maybe they don't. The point is that nothing is coming off below, and really, what's the point of even going to an SC if they're not they're not taking it all off for you. I'm not going to fork out a Benjamin to have a thots tits in my face. Trust me, I've been there, and it might be worth it the first time (when you're a Uni freshman), but after round number two it get's pretty old fast. I needed a woman who could offer...SERVICE.
So I sat...and I waited...and waited...probaly twenty minutes. That's when my Latin goddess came forth...from the dressing room. Monse. That old, fake tits (fake ass?), knee-dropping, pleasure-giving, drop-her-panties-at-a-moments-notice, A-game quality service, MILF. Yes, within that venerable establishment of some of the finest ass in the Pacific N., probably the Western seaboard, possibly, in-fact, likely in fact, the entire nation of the US of A, of possibly the Continents old and new, this Latin milf of southern extraction (not that Southern, the one further south), is the finest. A bold statement? Not at all. I can look at pixels of thots on any given day. But in regards to actual SERVICE, YES, she is the finest.
She guided me back to the LDA...not that I needed it, being the regular, venerable Lake City patron that I happen to be. She was butt-naked within thirty seconds. Bare ass on my lap. On the floor. On my lap. The rack in my face again. I lost track. The point is, Monse is highly skilled in her craft. No in-depth description is required. If you haven't experienced her as of yet, drop everything right now and do it. If you have already, you already know. One last departing kiss and I exited.
I don't simp. I don't waste time and money. I know the women that I want to see and where they are. A word to the wise: heed my advice. It was honed through years of experience, and I have the scars to prove it.
That's all. Till next time mongers. Your friend, the forever SCP.
