Club Needs TLC - Thick Dancers Only

Had a free moment after moving the kid into the college dorm so I thought I'd kill some time looking at naked women. Tuscon, being a college town, I expected to see some 20-25 year olds shaking their ass for a buck, but what I got was significantly different.

The club is at the corner in a strip mall and looks HUGE from the outside. Inside is a different story - after passing through a small waiting area adorned with hanging lingerie (for what purpose?), the bouncer checked my ID. I asked about the cover and he looked at me like I was an idiot. I then asked "one drink minimum?" and he actually rolled his eyes and said "have a good time man". There are signs on every wall about ID, the do's and don'ts, drink minimums, legal documents, you name it. It was a little off-putting, and his attitude wasn't welcoming, but it didn't cost me to get in.

Passing through the gate and into the main room has the bar on the right and a huge, raised stage to the left. The room was large and rectangular filled with seats facing the single stage. The bar had every hard liquor imaginable and about five guys hunched over drinking. Their backs were to the main stage, and NO ONE was watching. It was odd - you came here for the naked girls right? The bartender was a young, hot, brunette, wearing black lingerie and looked really good. I ordered a $5.50 VOSS water and looked for a seat, ready to have a good time.