Another Club I Don't Like Anymore

I'm thinking Las Vegas strip clubs are no longer for me. As with my recent visit to Sapphire, the whole experience seemed to be about beautiful women trying to sell me way more alcohol than I could possibly drink and it was about double the price of any normal bar in the city. I was offered some impressive mileage but it all seemed to be linked not to how much I would tip the lady but whether I would commit to buying a package deal with more beers or champagne or harder stuff than I usually consume in a year.

My friend and I decided to go there because I'd had good experiences there in the past. I think I forgot to consider how long ago it was in the past. It was like a completely different club in there. We took a cab from our hotel to Jerry's, a casino across the street that offers lousy odds on table games but real good cheap meals. Two prime rib specials later, we walked across the street to the Palomino, thereby avoiding an upcharge for arriving by cab. Even then, I think it was $65 admission but that included two drinks. I don't think I've ever had more than two drinks in one evening in my life and I hadn't even started on the second when a brunette with massive store-bought breasts began trying to get us to buy some sort of package deal that would include six beers and other drinks. She suggested sexual favors might come with the drinks as a chaser but since we didn't take her up on her offer, we'll never know. I have long since stopped assuming that if a dancer said she'd do something, she'd actually do it.

At the Palomino, the place to be seems to be upstairs. I have no idea how many girls were working in the club but there were enough circulating upstairs that if you couldn't find one to fall in love with for a half-hour, you were probably dead from the waist down. My friend seized on a lady who didn't do much for me but when she sat on his lap and nuzzled his ear, I could see her rising slightly into the air. She offered $20 dances but told him he'd have to buy a minimum of five plus a $40 tip. He said, "So they aren't $20 dances. They're $28 dances". She said, "This is Vegas. Consider the $8 a resort fee for occupancy".