It’s pronounced “Oh-zee” right? Not “Oz” like with wicked witches and tornadoes and shit?

Whatever, I found my slutty Dorothy in ruby red stripper heels. Headed up here on a Wednesday night and got to the club about 9p, in time to scout out the dancer crew before the 2 for $40 dance specials they run every hour on the half hour mark. Cover was $8 and I headed across the club to the bar in the back, situated to the left side of the stage. The place has been described a lot, including by me last year. It’s a big club, a lot of TVs, flashing lights, loud music and smoke, mostly cigarettes but the occasional douche smoking a stogie. Fuck you, dude. Dance prices are $40 a song and can be good, but they run a stage roll call and 241 dance special once an hour, announced by Michael Buffer and a bunch of sirens. Even if you don’t get your first choice of girls, you should always go for the 241. It’s a good deal and the girls don’t hold back. Sometimes you also get a promotional tshirt, bottle opener or other trinket with the dance special.

Beers and drinks are reasonable, they have a few choices on tap for $6 and bottles are $7.25. Brand liquor is $15. The girls are predominantly Latina and almost all are Cuban, with the occasional black girl or white girl thrown in for affirmative action. They are all pretty hot to some degree, mostly in their twenties and in shape. I’d barely found a spot at the bar when I was cornered by a pair of Cubans. I wasn’t feeling it with them, but they had me pinned against the bar and a ceiling column. Worse, they were obstructing my view of the stage. Neither spoke great English and I was struggling to find a polite way to ask them to move on. They chatted with each other, oblivious to the passive aggressive cold shoulder I was giving them. I hate when I’m a pussy like that and don’t just tell them I’m not interested. Luckily, a third girl came over who was prettier and spoke better English than the first two. I’d already made my decision to hold off until I saw the lineup, so when she asked me if I was going to “buy my pretty friends a drink?” and I declined, the three of them got the hint and moved on. Sorry, girls, I didn’t mean to waste 15 minutes of your time. My bad.

When I turned back to the club I could see a good number of girls (close to 40 came out for the roll call) and a fewer number of customers, maybe 25-30 or so. I spotted a girl I liked near the end of the roll call line and passed up several approaches as the girls made their way across the club saying I was waiting for someone. When the girl I liked finally got to me, we headed to the back. The dance cubicles are a good size, with a shelf for your stuff. Off came her top and we had two great dances where she did a fantastic impression of being into me. She asked if I wanted to do another, but I opted for a VIP. $200 gets you fifteen minutes and two drinks in a semi private area. The curtains don’t fully obstruct you from other people getting dances but it’s private enough. She continued with the impression of someone who liked me and we had a blast. After that, I headed back to the bar to watch the stage show for a while. It’s three girls at a time, with names announced by the dj. I saw a lot of other girls I’d be interested in, but I was spent and headed home happy. This place is always solid and is a good choice midweek when other clubs are likely slower.