Clearly Better

I'm in Florida for a family wedding and had a couple hours of free time before I had to be anywhere so I went to Diamond Dolls to scout it and compare it to the places I've been to in Houston. And coming from a state with a similar reputation for strip clubs, I have to say there is no comparison. Ya'll have it good down here in Florida. And I know someone is going to accuse me of being to effusive but I'm only doing it because I have to compare it to what we have Houston.

The Club: This might be the only place where Texas has you beat, Florida. Texas clubs are grand palaces of debauchery. Meanwhile, Diamond Dolls is a cramped dive bar with a long stage down the middle where three girls dance and a side stage that I think is called the VIP stage. Be prepared to look your neighbor in the eye while he's getting a table dance.

The Drinks: I went in the early evening where there was a happy hour and the drinks were cheap. I had a four dollar Coors and a couple of well tequilas for five dollars each. Well tequila is vomit water and that's true no matter where you are but I asked for soda water and a couple of limes and had myself a makeshift ranch water so really this is a tie.