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Rejected Review

Best Daytime Show Since Regis and Kathie Lee…

Pandora's Adult Cabaret
8914 Lake City Way NE Seattle, WA 98115
Exactly 37 parking spots outside this ornate structure. The lines on the parking spots were painted white, as opposed to the yellowish color present at some other businesses. Front door black with the hook handle. Signs denying any sexual activity sprinkle the walls as you enter the grand foyer area. A red velvet rope shielding the grand foyer from the rest of the real estate. The red would later become significant…. The name Pandora means "all gifted" in Greek. In ancient Greek mythology, Pandora received many gifts from the gods, including the gift of music, from Apollo. She was also, as we all know, very curious. The color red generally indicated passion, lust, and carnal desires. Think of the “scarlet letter” which was an outward sign of one’s suspected infidelity. Maybe the red details all over the facility are some kind of symbolism?? Basic chair and table setup - tables are the round drink tables you can get from any neighborhood furniture store. The cranberry / sprite was awesome! The flatness of the sprite hummed underneath the syrupy notes of the cranberry juice. Just the right amount of ice. The maitre’d served it on a white napkin - the cheap Family Dollar ones. I think they were 1-ply napkins. I have to note that the lavatory was top notch! Plenty of Softsoap there, I think it was the Chamomile scented option today. They went with the 2 urinal, 2 stall design - stucco on the ceiling. Minimalist artwork lined the walls. No Banksy / Basquiats on display today. Two stages - both equipped with poles. They went with the standard chrome - plated steel poles on both stages. The temperature was a nice 80 outside and a comfortable 68 degrees Fahrenheit inside. The DJ was playing tunes from what looked to be a Windows laptop pc that was connected to their Sonos sound system. Well, I assume it’s a Sonos - it could be another manufacturer. The DJ was about average height, looked to be mid -30’s. That pretty much covers it….oh yeah…not that anyone cares about the insignificant part…but the dancers were Anya, Monse, Martina, Angel, Luna, and Harlow or something like that? Nothing really interesting there too much, none of us come here for them per se.

Adjudicators

Shortie44
Not Enough Club Details
Pussylicker2
Incoherent This has to be a joke. A cruel joke. Totally useless "review".
tuscl
Shill Review or Club Ad
ericinthe206
Incoherent I see what you're doing but I still want to know what you spent $100-$300 on
Electronman
Love the satire! But you failed to report on the measurements of the dancers. Which ones had perky nipples vs. pepperoni side areoles. Which dancers were college students? single moms?